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I'm Me, You're You!
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Metal sucks! I only like music made by scrawny hipsters with thick rimmed glasses, flannels and beards with acoustic guitars or Synthesizers. I mean Metal’s so loud! How am I supposed to get that indie chick pussy if I’m not blaring dirty projectors and talking about his post modern sound collage in the style of Brahm blah blah blah blah …
That’s right! Because once you’ve listened to Animal Collective, you realize “WAIT! There is music I can listen to that would be considered even more unlistenable to others than my agoraphobic nosebleed records! (and to me too)! I” guess you don’t have to be in a metal band to make purposely dissonant music that doesn’t use you know, melody, or song writing. Just 4 indie kid hipsters with ecstacy and protools.
For the record, I have nothing against metal at all. I haven’t listened to it a lot lately, but that’s more about me than metal. Most metal even at its worst has more talent and melody and etc ad infinitum whatever traits you prefer to animal collective. Like David Cross said, I would rather listen to the death rattle of my child then listen to that shit.
“It’s hard to call them anything but a cynical corporation cashing in on nostalgia…” What the fuck does this guy think they’re doing? Performing the Super Bowl Half Time Show with Stevie Wonder and Aerosmith, or on a giant set of lips? The Stones and McCartney do it, and you shit a fucking brick. A band that surprisingly a lot of people even now aren’t that aware of beyond fight club, surprise, needs money, goes on tour, and plays about as well as ever, and suddenly the sell out police come in? But who reads the NYT for their music reviews?
And why is someone so painfully unfunny and awkward as Jimmy Fallon so interested in getting actual good bands on his show? I wish he put that effort into his comedy.
How the fuck can you listen to this? It’s like Girl talk instead of using shitty pop songs used random sound loops from zappa go team and steve reich, etc. But everyone knows Beck could release an album of his bowel movements and 10 million indie kids would scream “GENIUS!! EVEN BETTER THAN MIDNITE VULTURES/GUERO/MUTATIONS!!”
I remember that even more than 30 years after the fact, listening to stuff like Abbey Road for the first time, and being amazed at song cycles where they flow so well into each other and yet remain separate. And those jerks…wrote the whole damn thing themselves! Now we just use samples of other songs and generic soundtrack pro/etc sound effects and it’s supposed to be fucking electric ladyland? I haven’t even been able to listen to an entire beck album since about Sea Change, maybe Guero, much less this attempt to prove he’s still hip with a new song that just sounds like a mash up.
Fuck this song. Fuck mashups. And fuck whatever the fuck rambling almost nonsensical shit the Fiery Furnaces guy said.
( I realize this is a rambling rant, so it’s not lost on me)
P.S. Slayer has a new album? Man I haven’t even thought of slayer since the “ANTICHRIST IN THE NAME OF GOD” album. I guess I didn’t realize how even with the intronet, how much metal flies under the radar for much media.