Comments from Jacob

Benjamin Button needs to be dealt with NOW. right fucking NOW.
+11 |
November 23, 2009 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Closer
for some reason, it makes me really angry when anybody besides gabe uses his affectations (because..., you guys, COLLEGE, (non-phonebook thing) the phonebook). like, really angry.
+4 |
October 26, 2009 on Can We Even Come Up With A Worse Tagline For Sherlock Holmes?
Does the phone number 0403 mean that less than 9,999 phone numbers exist in the Sudan?
+3 |
October 26, 2009 on This Is Your Music Video: Bangs’s “Take U To Da Movies”
In response to your "it's not possible" remark, in third grade at hebrew school, they showed us the most powerful footage i've ever seen. it was right after the americans liberated a concentration camp, and two blond good-ol'-boy american soldiers are holding up a nazi and letting this emaciated jew beat the fuck out of him. i got the feeling that tarantino might've been trying to evoke. now that i'm older though, i realize how sick it makes me feel to not remember whether the american soldiers were laughing at the prisoner or the nazi. inb4WAY AFTER seriousgum.com because this is serious.
+1 |
August 24, 2009 on The Videogum Movie Club: Inglourious Basterds
The seinfeld one is legitimately hilarious; i watched it with a group of people. The plot is that Kramer starts making porn but Newman leaks it to the Porn Nazi. And there's a running gag that George walks around in a robe waiting for his scene with Susan but he never gets to fuck. So much win.
+2 |
August 21, 2009 on NSFW: 30 Rock Porno? 30 Rock Porno
Joking aside, he probably WILL give a clear explanation for people like Gabe about credit default swaps and sub-prime mortgages and shit. In columbine and 9/11 both he took time to explain everything clearly with cartoons, ken burns montages, and condescending history lessons.
+10 |
August 21, 2009 on Fingers Crossed For Michael Moore’s Capitalism: A Love Story
there's a first time for everything recurring nightmare.
+1 |
July 24, 2009 on Fred Is Going To Be In A Fucking Movie
i saw fred on iCarly today, but he played himself LUCAS instigating a conspiratory feud between two web video sensations. I can't find the video but WORLDS BEEN HAD COLLI-jesus christ it makes me want to cry.
0 |
July 24, 2009 on Fred Is Going To Be In A Fucking Movie
There already WAS a live action version of Alice in WOnderland that, aside from being too long on video (it was a miniseries), it was fascinatingly complex and aesthetically pleasing without wacky hot topic/harajuku imagery and transformers-caliber CGI landscapes. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0164993/ plus it had fucking WILLY WONKA, WHOOPI GOLDBERG (what?), MARTIN SHORT, AND DOC BROWN FROM BACK 2 THA FUTURE AND IT WASN'T BUTTER.
+1 |
July 23, 2009 on Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland Looks As Unnecessary As It Does Neat
i miss the old days when your remark would elicit, like, 125 "ure rly 53? ure way 2 hawt for 53!" comments.
+5 |
July 21, 2009 on The Japanese Girl Meeting Harry Potter Is Living The Dream We Didn’t Even Know We Had
i love how she said "its not every day you see someone get married on MAIN STREET" as if that a real fucking street. it also implies that people go there enough to think they live there otherwise she'd have said "disneyland."
+1 |
July 10, 2009 on That’s Your Boyfriend: Disneyland Wedding Proposal Guy
i just read EVERY comment to see if anyone already said HAGS. goddamn it. regardless, lindsay, i have to admit, there were times when i was vocally a hater. but reading this, i realized that i can't remember why at all. love, jacob
+3 |
June 26, 2009 on Have A Great Summer And Stay Sweet, You Guys!
you know, technically, the end "there's so many ways to kidnap kids" instead of "theres so many ways you can get kidnapped" means that this is actually a tutorial for rapists and kidnappers.
+7 |
June 23, 2009 on Stranger Danger: Your Guess Is As Good As Mine
Bob Beckel's moment at :50 made me Lots of Love for 13 consecutive rewinds.
0 |
June 22, 2009 on What The FFFFFFFF Happened To Victoria Jackson?
the final leg-cross was UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!
+6 |
June 22, 2009 on Jeff Goldblum Finally Talks About The “Drunk Goldblum” Meme
you should make a "Next Level Shit" category.
+5 |
June 20, 2009 on Some Next Level Ottoman Humpers Shit
Fee-eee-eee-eeeee-eee-ney! No, but i seriously hope with all my heart that it isn't "Show me the money."
+8 |
June 18, 2009 on NSFW: Name That Catch/Cumphrase
i KNOW i saw something somewhere about it.
+10 |
June 18, 2009 on Spoiler Alert: Love Happens