Comments from JollyRancher

Inglourious Bastards. Better.
+51 |
October 27, 2009 on Best New Party Game 10
The Green Milf
+32 |
October 27, 2009 on Best New Party Game 10
"Gay it forward," also known as Best New Party Game 11.
+43 |
October 27, 2009 on Best New Party Game 10
DIRTY, DIRTY TITTY. Clothe that! Put cloth on it!
+1 |
September 15, 2009 on The Perfect Crime Revisited
Ice T going to the mac store with that busted computer reminds me so much of that thing your boyfriend did with the pennies when his car was impounded.
+10 |
August 10, 2009 on Ice-T Smashing A Laptop Reminds Us That Racism Is Weird
Oh man, I would seriously love to see that. Like One Hour Photo, but funny! And less knives and forced adultery, or whatever. Let's paint, exercise, and come up with brilliant hooks for perfect movies.
+4 |
August 7, 2009 on Being White Is Hard: It’s Complicated
Tucker Max spoke at my school and bitched onstage about getting less money for his appearance than Spike Lee had a week earlier. When asked what his parents think of his "work," he said, "well I'm making more than my father ever did so I don't really give a shit what he thinks and if he complains I tell him to shut the fuck up." He closed it by asking the girls who wanted to sleep with him to meet him in the hallway, but ONLY if they had ID's proving they were 18. NO EXCEPTIONS! So yeah, by far the worst, but of course he got a standing ovation.
+45 |
August 4, 2009 on Someone Has Clearly Fast-Tracked Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell For The Worst Movie Of All Time
The boss definitely just hovered behind me undetected for what was probably the entire duration of TLC's "No Scrubs" video.
+22 |
July 31, 2009 on The Real Housewives Of Atlanta: Is This Real Life?
"Can you show me this ... what is it? A new way?"
+3 |
July 28, 2009 on Introducing The Official Videogum Theme Song
Sometimes it's nice when Gabe posts nice things and we can all just laugh and smile and stop being such mean-spirited no-goodnicks. Let's not make a habit of it, but still.
+7 |
July 28, 2009 on Introducing The Official Videogum Theme Song
It's fun to imagine Gabe listening to Wu Tang while he furiously types fan fiction about Katherine Heigl.
+24 |
July 24, 2009 on Wu Tang Clan “Da Mystery Of Chess Boxing” But With Legos
Yeah, way more excited than I should be about this. Also, did anyone see the web series the Stargate kid made with Michael Cera? It was kinda okay!
+9 |
July 24, 2009 on Where Is Hot Tub Time Machine’s Fan Made Poster?
I promise I'll stop with the anecdotal comments after this (I probably won't), BUT this is my favorite TWSS ever, and also pedophilia related. At a christening for my friend's daughter, the priest stuck his fingers in the baby's mouth and announced to the 40ish people in attendance, "Don't worry, 99 per cent of babies love the taste of Father Paul." Oh, and it's on tape. That's it now.
+43 |
July 22, 2009 on The TWSS Archives: The MacGyver Moment
When my cousin that's in jail now was twelve, he totally loved ICP comic books and thought the world would end after their sixth album or something because of that whole invented mythology. It's weird how some people can start robbing you for drug money when they hit 16 and you're like, "you know, I think he's really staring to pull it together."
+96 |
July 22, 2009 on That’s Your Gathering: The 10th Annual Gathering Of The Juggalos
Ugh. Can this please not be the lowest rated comment of the week? It deserves the silent treatment.
0 |
July 21, 2009 on Oh, Here’s That Borderline-Racist Fred Parody No One Asked For
I think you're way off on this one, Gabe. This kid is the Sacha Baron Cohen of Freds, and the entire YouTube community are his victims. He's forcing them to confront their own presumptions about his people. Or at least, that's what he's going to tell people in 10 years when these videos are still on the Internet.
+4 |
July 21, 2009 on Oh, Here’s That Borderline-Racist Fred Parody No One Asked For
Videogum should hire Chi City and just let him stand next to a camera and rant about Michael Bay's balls or whatever. This man is a genius who will never stop being perfect, and he belongs here.
+18 |
July 21, 2009 on You Can Rag On Keri Hilson For 10 Minutes This Shit And It Ain’t Butter
Every major plot point in Harry Number 6 is based on Harry happening to walk by someone revealing critical information and then barely hiding around the corner to listen to them. Also, the whole thing is a teen sex comedy now, but not funny and without sex. Nothing else really happens except at the end, but by then it's like who cares, Accio Wizard Sex, this is boring.
+11 |
July 20, 2009 on Accio Your Opinions!
"For me, summer means you're going to bitch and you are try all de underwater adventurer." Greg > Chet.
+4 |
July 17, 2009 on That’s Your VJ: Greg
This looks strikingly similar to a video for the Piebald song "Stalker" that some kids made in my TV class in high school, except the Maria Carey character was played by a sexually ambiguous 16-year-old guy in drag. So, you know, that one was a lot better.
+12 |
July 14, 2009 on That’s Your Boyfriend: Mariah Carey
Come on Barbara. I would at least expect to you to ask what this big "secret" is about the ooze.
+2 |
July 14, 2009 on Barbara Walters Hated Bruno, And One Time She Interviewed The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This is the first time someone on YouTube has ever out-commented Videogum, and even though it's super obvious, user ferricide deserves some credit for "GIVE UP." Unless someone here already said it, in which case please be gentle, it's been a long day.
+3 |
July 13, 2009 on This Is Your Music Video: Confide’s “Such Great Heights”
Carlton Banks as Macaulay Culkin for Halloween. "Keep the change, you filthy animal."
+6 |
June 19, 2009 on NSFW: Name That Catch/Cumphrase