Jordan Schlansky

Comments from Jordan Schlansky

I've said before that the internet makes me feel weird, but also real life kinda makes me feel weird. I haven't always had much confidence and I get super flustered and turn red when I talk to people. It's weird. Anyways, I started reading this site on day 1 and never stopped. I posted the occasional comment and upvotes translated into me gaining confidence which made talking to people a little easier. This site has just meant a lot to me over the last five and half years. Anyways, thanks for bringing me this far, Gabe. I think Kelly can take me the rest of the way.
+4 |
August 5, 2013 on This Is Just A Goodbye Post
do your balls hang low do they wobble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot can they get a TV show...
0 |
August 1, 2013 on “Man With 132 LB Scrotum Gets TLC Show”
I hope this show wins a MTV surfboard for Ballsiest TV Show.
+3 |
August 1, 2013 on “Man With 132 LB Scrotum Gets TLC Show”
A lot of times when I read Videogum I am reminded that Gabe is smarter than me. Today that happened when he used the word scrota.
+13 |
August 1, 2013 on “Man With 132 LB Scrotum Gets TLC Show”
Why did I want so badly for there to be sound on that video? I turned my speakers all the way up just hoping to hear something. The internet makes me feel so weird sometimes.
+7 |
July 16, 2013 on Bernie’s Workplace Double #FAIL!
This gave me an idea for my own fail blog. WhaleFail.orc
+4 |
April 30, 2013 on Best Fails of the Week 4 April 2013
I live in MN too. Minneapolis to be exact. I just moved into a sweet new place downtown this week! Hope you feel better.
+2 |
January 25, 2013 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
I wonder if Smuckers will celebrate the anniversary of the time Al Roker shit his pants at the White House.
+9 |
Is this Jeff Goldblum's baby?
+5 |
December 13, 2012 on This Is Just A Good Picture Of A Baby
Oh man, it's been too long since I sat in my office cheering for a scissors neck stab. That was fun.
-1 |
October 16, 2012 on That’s Your Boyfriend: “The Illusion”
I thought he introduced himself as "the kreme." He didn't, but he could have. He's earned it.
+4 |
October 9, 2012 on Who Would Krispy Kreme Fight?
It sounds like the lake just ate some Taco Bell.
+6 |
September 24, 2012 on The Simple Joy Of Listening To Ice Crack On A Lake
Monster Pizza Party beforehand at Dulono's for all MPLS monsters.
+2 |
July 10, 2012 on The First Annual Cat Video Film Festival
In the part where Gabe is firing Kelly again, I read "of all your fireable offenses" as "of all your fireball offenses." Then I pictured Kelly shooting fireballs at Gabe in some office.
+18 |
January 25, 2012 on A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Jay Leno Is Being Sued Over A Mitt Romney Joke
Wow, Miley! Don't you know about your father's serious heart condition?
+4 |
January 25, 2012 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
I want to call out Danica McKellar. I mean, sure, I guess it's cool to write books telling girls it's okay to be smart or whatever, but yo, you used to shit all over Kevin sometimes and that was pretty fucked up.
0 |
January 12, 2012 on Friday Giveaway: A Signed Copy Of Chris Gethard’s A Bad Idea I’m About To Do And A Personalized CALL OUT!
Teenagers make the best decisions.
+7 |
January 12, 2012 on The 2012 People’s Choice Awards
I just wanted to say that my dog, Pizza, was hit by a car last night and didn't make it. I've been very sad and this post is the first thing that made me laugh since. Thanks, Gabe.
+17 |
January 11, 2012 on Sick Little Boy Blows Up Building And It’s Awesome
I misread this at first, but I got really excited because I thought it said, "bonding with robots."
+5 |
January 10, 2012 on An Open Letter To Tina Fey Re: Bonding With The Roots
I kind of understand how advertising and publicity works or whatever, but I've read (THAT'S RIGHT, LADIES) that 50 is donating one meal via the UN World Food Programme for every "like" they get on facebook and also one for every bottle sold over the next five years. I mean, that seems kind of cool. But yes, this commercial is dumb and I don't really like energy drinks because they make me feel like I might poop my pants.
+1 |
October 25, 2011 on Live Blogging The Viral Marketing For 50 Cent’s New Energy Drink (P.S. 50 Cent Has A New Energy Drink)
I saw Jesse Ventura at the first day of OccupyMN. He suplexed some lippy conservative into a fountain. I couldn't tell if he did it for attention or for the love of suplexes.
+3 |
October 11, 2011 on Hey, Kanye West, You’re Occupying Wall Street Wrong!
I'll ice YOUR wedding cake, if you catch my drift.
+1 |
September 29, 2011 on The Free Flexor Is OUR Generation’s Shake Weight
Gabe, did you break your tooth eating a KNUCKLE sandwich? Do you get it?
+4 |
September 19, 2011 on Aaron Sorkin Broke His Nose While Writing, OBVIOUSLY
My real only problem with Entourage is that it was 8 seasons too long.
+14 |
September 12, 2011 on Entourage S08E08: Series Finale
3 of these downvotes were from the West Memphis Three.
+12 |
September 8, 2011 on Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)
I have a 10 year reunion on Saturday, but thanks to facebook I'm constantly reminded how much I don't give a shit what kids from high school are doing. Thanks, facebook!
+4 |
August 25, 2011 on Teen Korner: Sneak Peek At The Sneak Peek Of The Hunger Games: The Movie
Wow! 2 videogum caption contests featuring Harrison Ford! Werttrew, has there been any other person featured twice in the caption contest?
+2 |
August 23, 2011 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Harrison Ford’s “Got Milk?” Ad