kiss the pan

Comments from kiss the pan

SOFT GABE!!!!!!!!! UR BACK and your ape jokes just made me vogue in my pants with joy. That is completely nonsensical, but you get my drift.

+14 |
April 14, 2010 on Glee S01E14: Welcum Back, Dorkz!

Gabe, you’re a trooper for finishing this. I walked out of it within 30 minutes in the theater after paying FIVE WHOLE AMERICAN DOLLARS to see it! That money could have bought me five tacos by now! Fuck you, Envy, you taco thief of a movie.

+68 |
March 22, 2010 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Envy

It was definitely an occurrence, and things occurred during it! V for Vgum and the rest, etc.
P.S. If you and I are Old Dogs, can I be John Travolta and you be Robin Williams, or do you want to switch?

+7 |
March 19, 2010 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Is this just a clip from Zardoz? I bet this is just a clip from Zardoz.

+19 |
March 15, 2010 on Hey, You Look Great

Does this mean we all get our own IMDB pages for our “Thank you” credits? I’m going to go on my own page’s message board and mock my own weight! LOK AT DAT ASS MOAR LIEK EAT THA PAN LOL!!!!

+33 |
February 15, 2010 on Videogum Everywhere Completes Its Second Successful Mission

Carrie gurl u no i luv u, u my boo. I want 2 propose 2 u in front uv every1.

WILL U B MY E-WIFE

+14 |
February 9, 2010 on A Videogum Poll: Who Is Secretly A Big Jerk?

I am not sure I understand Ricky Gervais. He overtly acts like a jerk all the time. I haven’t seen him ever NOT act like a jerk. How is he secretly a jerk? You (you = people voting for him) don’t think he’s faking it? Is that the secret? That isn’t really a secret. Let’s define “secret”!

+17 |
February 9, 2010 on A Videogum Poll: Who Is Secretly A Big Jerk?

I’ve had quite enough of your Dorito bashing, young lady!

+1 |
February 3, 2010 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: Doritos Is Not A Secret Ingredient

Clearly I meant “marijuana.” The magic of these next level beats distracted my spelling skills, obvz.

+5 |
February 2, 2010 on Someone Please Give Die Antwoord Whatever They Want

These guys are obviously the Penn brothers and the girl is a Blade Runner android. (Note: I know Chris Penn is dead but that does not change the fact that he is here, in these videos, in a marajuana headband.)

+6 |
February 2, 2010 on Someone Please Give Die Antwoord Whatever They Want

Actually, it is a TLC show that was spawned from a documentary special on Discovery Health Channel (different from the OG Discovery Channel). All of these stations are owned by Discovery Communications, which generally uses TLC as the dumpsite for the stuff too terrible to be on the regular Discovery Channel.
Signed,
Dr. Television III esq.

+26 |
February 2, 2010 on Everything About I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant Is Depressing

Michael Stuhlbarg. SHOW SOME RESPECT WHIPPERSNAPPER!!

+7 |
February 2, 2010 on 2010 Academy Award Nominees, Guys

Gabe, how did you get this video? My husband decided to make this for me because I am an Event Horizon superfan. He got together with his buddies and made this video so we’d have a new video to make love to (besides Event Horizon).

+5 |
January 22, 2010 on A New Theme Song For Event Horizon, Finally

John C. Reilly always puts loads of :)s on my face. A million :)s at once, sometimes, which is really difficult to do.

+5 |
January 22, 2010 on Cyrus Looks Like An Art House Step Brothers

You know about Gummi Bears, and in the end, isn’t that the only thing that matters? (A: Yes)

+2 |
January 22, 2010 on Dear 2012, Leno To Host White House Correspondents’ Dinner

LOL, this tweet of his is perfect: “For New followers: I POST A LOT OF JOKES WITH PICS. They are JUST that, a joke. NOT targeting anyone. Laughter IS the best medicine.”
Haha, the medicine that is helping America recover from its assholes-mocking-unfortunate-stills-of-the-First-Lady disease? Thank you, Scott Baio, for healing the wounds I didn’t even know I had. You asshole.

+10 |
January 21, 2010 on You Can Make It Up: Scott Baio Has A Picture Of A Black Guy In His Wallet

I am a young English schoolboy who has recently gotten into some trouble. Long story short, there was an accident and I am now stranded with some of my classmates with no adult supervision. There is a dark force I feel inside our camp. We think it is a beast, but we haven’t seen it yet. Is this Satan? Can he be fended off with nothing but a conch and a pig’s head? Should we be mocking our friend for his weight problems? Thank you in advance for your help.

+35 |
January 19, 2010 on Best New Party Game 14

I am an archaeology professor who loves to travel. Recently, I’ve come across some information that may lead me to the holy grail! I know that sounds crazy, but frankly, I believe that thing belongs in a museum. My traveling companions are my wacky Scottish father who won’t stop calling me junior and a beautiful blonde German woman whose signs are just so hard to read! Should I try to find the holy grail, how should I tell this nice lady I am only interested in her as a friend, and, most importantly, how do I tell my father I prefer to be called by my nickname? Please advise, as I am being followed.

+27 |
January 19, 2010 on Best New Party Game 14

How dare you take advantage of the late Dave Smith, beloved righthanded closer for the Houston Astros, 1980-1990. HOW DARE YOU, SIR!!

+10 |
January 19, 2010 on MacGruberTrailer