Okay FIRST OF ALL, I kind of secretly love Rebecca Black. That song has improved my life. SECOND OF ALL, if you start death-threatening every annoying person on the internet, then the very serious death threats I've been making against the Dramatic Chipmunk are going to lose all meaning. THIRD OF ALL, if you really do try to kill Rebecca Black, don't you realize that that will only make her a martyr? She will be stronger than ever, like Jesus or Obi-Wan Kenobi, and then I will have to paint her into my black-velvet painting of the Nighthawks diner, right next to Jesus and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
God help me but I really really want to see this movie now. I'm sitting in a grubby smelly apartment right now freaking out about how I'm going to pay the rent in two months, and watching that trailer was like going a two-minute Paris vacation with Owen Wilson. You're right, Owen Wilson, that guy's a pretentious ass! Let's go get some fresh air, together!
HELLO, OPERATOR, GET ME FANDANGO.
For some reason it doesn't bother me as much if people say something grotesque and stupid and then sign it with their real names. It's like they've helpfully locked themselves into the stocks in the town square with a sign reading 'I STICK UP FOR VIOLENT A-HOLES.'
I know you said this was cheating, but I have to point out that for Opera Reasons too complicated to explain, the actual words to this song basically basically translate to mean, "I feel an intense, sexual passion for every woman I see." Adya & Geisha must be going for that "are they or aren't they" thing, like t.A.T.u.
Weren't they filming during Jon Ronson's extremely well-done Bieber interview? Did Ronson make the cut??? I would definitely pay however many dollars to see Ronson in THREE DEE.
Whatever, I heard Dorito's is going to stop using MSG?? FUCK THAT. I want MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE from my chips, not ManSex/Gayness. When I want homosexuality, I am going to have gay sex, with a man, because I am gay, and when I want to eat a snack, I will eat your competitors' delicious MSG-laced chips, because I am sick of the GLUTAMATE-O-PHOBIC LOBBY getting their way.
He loves hot clothes, but his Passion for Style Fashion is tinged with a healthy skepticism of the nightmarish class warfare that is synonymous with the industry. The smug condescension of preppie style, the sexploitation of photo spreads, the crass and irrelevant "movie tie-ins" doesn't mean the clothes aren't sometimes beautiful. Smart, funny, and informative! Face King hearts this feature.
I agree Gabe, you should go back to doing nice You Can Make It Ups, like the one where Paula Abdul was beaten and impregnated by juggalos. That one was kosher as kosher apple pie.
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