Mailman

Comments from Mailman

There's always precisely one Weekend Update joke that makes me laugh unexpectedly hard, and this week was definitely the rise in stolen NYC manhole covers and the corresponding rise in missing unicyclists. The rest of the jokes were BLUUUGGGGHHHWWWWWHATEVERRRRR
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May 7, 2012 on Saturday Night Live: Eli Manning And Rihanna
So on that Food Truck episode of Bob's Burgers, there was that singer with the song called 'Oil Spill' in which the oil spill was her vagina, a metaphor which was 'not subtle,' as Gene put it... and, well, that was basically that entire Rihanna song as well? Right? (GOOD STORY BRO)
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May 7, 2012 on Saturday Night Live: Eli Manning And Rihanna
"Fuck you, miss!" http://i.imgur.com/98ubl.jpg
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February 2, 2012 on Kids In England Are Allowed To Be Super Mean To Their Teachers In Rap Battles, Apparently?
Minute to Vomit: you have to eat your own vomit or guy fieri calls you 'brother' and eats a chili dog in your kitchen every day until death do you part
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February 1, 2012 on A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: The Unaired Fear Factor Donkey Semen Episode
Mixed magic arts is more like it
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February 1, 2012 on A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: The Unaired Fear Factor Donkey Semen Episode
My real honest belief is that this is does not make it any worse for them. not because its futility is unimportant. It is super important. but more because the feeling you have about how you drank donkey semen, at all, is kind of like absolute zero in the feelings of regret department. They cannot even register a slightly worse regret about this whole situation in its entirety at all
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February 1, 2012 on A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: The Unaired Fear Factor Donkey Semen Episode
Why is Bill Murray still in makeup from his cameo in Zombieland?
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February 1, 2012 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
If everyone started saying "no," instead of "no, but ____________!!_________?_____(__)_____." even snarkily, we would be much better off.
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January 30, 2012 on Ryan Gosling’s Dramatic Reaction To His “Oscar Snub” Revealed!
sorry. corporate LOLk vesting only covers the cost of vests ruined by spat-out tea.
+11 |
January 30, 2012 on Ryan Gosling’s Dramatic Reaction To His “Oscar Snub” Revealed!
"Crash winning for Best Picture had everything to actually say about race in America." -Spike Delahaye
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January 30, 2012 on Ryan Gosling’s Dramatic Reaction To His “Oscar Snub” Revealed!
Honesty. Stretch Armstrong's greatest trait. I think we have a winner, folks.
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January 30, 2012 on NOW Who Should Play Stretch Armstrong In The Stretch Armstrong Movie?!
Josh Hartnett. Kidding!
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January 30, 2012 on NOW Who Should Play Stretch Armstrong In The Stretch Armstrong Movie?!
Stephen Colbert already has essentially the same character on his resume http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zAGe0YvlbNY/TZLL3EKfweI/AAAAAAAAAHI/R8JCJLb1LZg/s320/Professor+Impossible.jpg
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January 30, 2012 on NOW Who Should Play Stretch Armstrong In The Stretch Armstrong Movie?!
I think some actor with a verb for a first name would be perfect for the role. Is Rip Torn too old? Oh, he's 80 years old? Well, how about Ralph Fiennes? i'm sure all that stretching causes nausea.
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January 30, 2012 on NOW Who Should Play Stretch Armstrong In The Stretch Armstrong Movie?!
I think Hasbro has to 'oven light' that movie. To see, you know, if it is done baking. Because... it has been in there awhile? I think? I am quickly losing hope in this comment, a comment which had zero potential before I even started writing. No, what am I doing? Don't click "Submit Comment!" You can just as easily start ov--
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January 30, 2012 on NOW Who Should Play Stretch Armstrong In The Stretch Armstrong Movie?!
the kind of person who grows up but still thinks that playing hooky is a true act of rebellion
+6 |
January 30, 2012 on A Brief Note On The Ferris Bueller Super Bowl Commercial
Oh my dear Jesus I just realized that American society has turned into Cameron's dad
+11 |
January 30, 2012 on A Brief Note On The Ferris Bueller Super Bowl Commercial
If you mid-price it, does it not sedan?
+32 |
January 30, 2012 on A Brief Note On The Ferris Bueller Super Bowl Commercial
This isn't terribly advanced animatronics, considering an actual human baby moves around basically in a mostly identical fashion to the tiny velociraptor hatchling in Jurassic Park, circa 1993. Does it make me a huge nerd loser by pointing that out?
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January 23, 2012 on Animatronic Baby: Not As Scary As You’d Think?
we've always got "dolt" to fall back on.
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January 23, 2012 on Loser Is The New Nerd