"Amnesty International, Greenpeace and the United Negro College Fund announced record earnings this week, due mostly to large, anonymous donations."
Loved the Sneakers reference too.
Principal Skinner: "Now I... I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques. I call it 'Billy and the Cloneasaurus'."
Milhouse: You're not going to win her back. She's with "The House" now.
Bart: Milhouse, she's only dating you to get back at me.
Milhouse: My therapist said that's all I could ever hope for. So take off, hoser!
*Barney grabs a champagne bottle and chugs it
Barney: "IT BEGINS"
*Barney blasts off in a jet-pack, runs out of fuel, and ends up being run over by a marshmallow truck.
NASA employee: "I don't understand it... that was non-alcoholic champagne."
Lisa: I can't believe that extra-thick layer of pollution that I've actually picketed against burned up the comet.
Bart: But what's really amazing, is that this is exactly what Dad said would happen.
Lisa: Yeah, Dad was right.
Homer: I know, kids. I'm scared too!
Mr. Burns: "Mattingly, get rid of those sideburns!"
Don Mattingly: "What sideburns?"
Mr. Burns: "You heard me, Hippie!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHv3aDa8n_A
Pretty much the entire King-Size Homer episode...
Operator: "The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now."
...
Dr. Nick: "Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon..."
Bart: "You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!"
Dr. Nick: "Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!"
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