Nap City

Comments from Nap City

I used to live with a cat who was super-into cantaloupe. I'd cut one in half (a cantaloupe, not a cat), eat it, and then let him lick out whatever was left. I like to imagine he was the inspiration for that cat with the melon helmet. (Internet says maybe that helmet was actually a lime, but we will go with melon because I do not have any stories about cats who eat limes.)
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May 16, 2013 on Do You Want The Ice Cream? Do You Think You Deserve It?
I hope it is an audio alert that sounds like a Basset howling at sirens.
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May 16, 2013 on When Is The Right Age To Show Your Child Your Sex Tape? Or, What Are You Having For Lunch, Again?
My lunch today was so delicious that I put it on the Instagram, even though the Instagramming of foods is one of my least-favourite things. I knew I would miss it as soon as it was gone, and it was easier to put it on Instagram than to build a commemorative statue. It was a sammich on the most amazing focaccia, with super-thinly-sliced veggies, ricotta, and a second cheese whose name I forget. Huh. Describing a sandwich is much less interesting than eating it. But, really, it was so very amazing, and I kept trying to tell my co-workers how it was the best and they kept getting confused about why I was displaying enthusiasm. I also saw a very good Basset Hound on my way to buy the sandwich, but I did not get a picture of him. He was particularly droopy and loping and I may have exclaimed out loud when I saw him even though I was by myself and he was all the way across the park.
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May 16, 2013 on When Is The Right Age To Show Your Child Your Sex Tape? Or, What Are You Having For Lunch, Again?
When I first heard about Elementary I was all ready to hate it, but I actually kind of love it. Not as much as I love the SurfaceTM* but an awful lot. * Dear Microsoft, Please pay me for my fantastic and subtle product placement in the form of sacks with dollar signs on them. In case it is not clear, those sacks should be filled with dollars, not Surfaces. What do I need with a Surface? ** Dear Internet, I do not know how to make the TM smaller. I bet sacks of dollars would solve the problem. *** Dear Elementary, Sorry, I got sidetracked. I do really like you and am glad there is a new episode this week.
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March 12, 2013 on This Is Just A Good Example Of Product Placement In Television
When Nanny* went into the shower in her bra, that was bad enough (because WHO THE HECK GOES INTO THE SHOWER IN THEIR UNDERTHINGS, not because I wanted to see her topless), but then when Jacob went in wearing all his clothes? Guy! I know you do not know how to kill someone, but do you also not know how to shower? I pretty much decided then and there that I was breaking up with the show, but now I feel like I must keep watching to fully appreciate the wonder of these recaps. That is how good they are. Good enough to keep me watching a show where people shower incorrectly. * Referring to the nanny just as "Nanny" makes me think there is a grandma character that I have somehow missed. Maybe that will be the next twist. The kidnapped Asian woman is actually everyone's grandma and she teaches them all how to shower and now it is just a very good show.
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February 12, 2013 on The Following: Are You There (Yet), Professor Carroll? It’s (Still) Me, Jason (Again)
I didn't watch the cartoon, but I did have a plush Salem doll. It was not as magically cruddy as the real Salem (by the real Salem I mean the puppet version. So, I guess, the fake Salem?).
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January 15, 2013 on A Jessica Simpson Sitcom Is In The WHATS?
I want it to be Christmas again so I have an excuse to post this repeatedly: http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/sabrina-salem-cat-santa-donuts3.gif Although - that gif turns anything into Christmas, so I maybe just created an endless cycle of neverending holidays. You're welcome? Sorry about all the presents you'll have to buy for the rest of eternity.
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January 15, 2013 on A Jessica Simpson Sitcom Is In The WHATS?
Unlovable, in Toronto
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January 11, 2013 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
I am also a terrible replier. That was for flanny.
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January 11, 2013 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
Here: http://www.blogto.com/bars/unlovable-toronto But I am a terrible friend who did not see it in person because of how it was outside my apartment.
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January 11, 2013 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
GUYS GUYS GUYS THAT MURAL IS BY MY AMAZING FRIEND JUSTIN AND I AM SO EXCITED I MAY NEVER TURN OFF CAPSLOCK AGAIN. In addition to be the best at drawing, Justin also gets paid to hang out with dogs all day. So, yes, he is pretty much the best. Also, I lied about the capslock, but not about the excitement.
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January 11, 2013 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!
CEPHALOPODS FOREVER.
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December 20, 2012 on Here Are Some Morning Links!
Also - I hope you hear about the interview! Sorry I was too busy being a smartass to say that. Waiting to hear about jobs is worse than all the crying babies.
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December 13, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
I am in Toronto, so even if you were crying I wouldn't be able to hear it through our cities' rivalry. You are correct, though, babies do not cry in Nap City. Mostly because they are not allowed in. PUPPIES ONLY IN NAP CITY. Possibly a kitten. Definitely cake.
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December 13, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
There is a baby crying frantically outside my office window. Is it you? I cannot see if it has a mustache from up here.
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December 13, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
I was all proud that I thought of the best Secret Santa gift for my co-worker, who has an amazing Chihuahua - I donated to buy a foster Chihuahua a sweater: http://www.ccrt.net/PurchaseBlanketSweater.shtm Now I am thinking maybe I should have donated to buy Ryan Gosling a sweater? Because I am sure the reason for his repeated sweater wearing is that he cannot afford a second sweater. A third sweater, you say? That is just ridiculous. Third sweaters are only for kings.
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December 13, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
Back in the eighties, we did so under the instruction of Frankie.
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December 13, 2012 on This Is Just A Good Picture Of A Baby
Being that I am 34 and prefer to wear as many clothes as possible, I am probably not the best choice. But! If they recast Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, it would be a crime if I was not the new Sigmund.
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December 3, 2012 on Are YOU The CW’s Wonder Woman?
I thought you wrote that you were annoyed that the grocery delivery people gave you extra chocolate, and I could not for the life of me figure out what was wrong with you.
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November 30, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
And yesterday you blew my mind with the amazing photo of your own puppy! You are just a very excellent provider of puppy pictures, and I thank you.
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November 29, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
My day (and also kind of my week, and maybe also my last week) has not been so great because of some cruddy human emotion stuff, but I have somewhat improved my day by changing the contact name of the cause of the cruddy emotions to "Bad Idea." Now I will be much less tempted to get in touch, because I will be reminded "Hey, that is a bad idea." If I continue to be blue, I will change the contact name of my dearest pal to "All the puppies" and then get him to call me repeatedly.
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November 29, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
Over in the other thread, people were talking about being more grateful and I was busy thinking "No! I am moping over here! I will be grateful when I quit with the moping, which will be never." Then I saw that pup and, well, dag - now I am grateful.
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November 28, 2012 on Keanu! People Take Pictures Of You!
That confounded me, too, until I realized maybe it was fish gelatin? Or maybe it was just fish in Michelin Man suits.
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November 14, 2012 on The New York Times Reviews Guy Fieri’s New Restaurant
It brings me great joy to log in solely for the purpose of upvoting this response.
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November 13, 2012 on A Young Doctor’s Notebook Trailer, You Guys
I am not bold enough to take pictures of strangers' dogs, and also I do not want to be banned from the dog park. But! My co-worker got a Bulldog puppy last week, and as soon as she is big enough to come into the office I will take all the pictures. The dog, I mean. My co-worker is already big enough to come into the office.
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November 8, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
I feel like there is nothing that cardigan could not help.
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November 8, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
My today was not so great, but my yesterday was the ultimate right-on because I got to see a BABY BULLDOG! (CAPSLOCK!). There is an off-leash dog park down the street from my office, and in the last month a Bulldog pup has started going there. He (she? I do not know. I did not get that close, and I certainly did not buy him/her dinner) has the exact same colouring as a bigger Bulldog who also goes to the same park, and I am not sure if they are related. Anyway. I have been detouring through the park on a regular basis in the hopes of seeing the puppy, and every now and then I see him and everything is right in the world. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go scan Craigslist missed connections for "weirdo lady watching baby dog from a distance."
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November 8, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?
Please post pictures of her as a baby, in a basket with her many siblings.
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November 8, 2012 on And Now Courtney Stodden’s “Mom” Wants A Reality Show, Obviously
There are fantastic and elusive white squirrels in the park near my place (here is one who looks like he's wearing a wizard robe: http://www.trinitybellwoods.ca/about-us/latest-news/1097-white-squirrel-baby-on-the-mend.html), and every time I see one I take it as a magical sign of good luck. I saw one this morning, and even though I do not live in the States, I am pretty sure he appeared in celebration of the election results. No quips about how he is white. He is magical, and he is glad your country did not go to garbagetown.
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November 7, 2012 on Barack Obama Re-Elected President Of The United States
I was at a potluck a while back and someone brought a newborn (to show off, not to eat). Everyone ran over to see the baby, and I was on the other side of the yard because OH MY LORD THE NEIGHBOURS HAVE WEINER DOGS. But, yes, many of my dear pals have kids, and I am happy for them. Just not as happy as if they all had puppies.
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October 31, 2012 on Benedict Cumberbatch Has Finally Gone Too Far