I didn't think it was the best episode of the season, but Gwyneth was clearly not terrible in it. She didn't rely on cue cards, she was funny in the Secret Word sketch, and she carried the weakest sketches better than a lot of guest stars. None of that takes away from her being the worst, you understand.
Remember when John McCain said "the fundamentals of our economy are strong" right before the economy tanked, and then tried to tell us that "fundamentals" actually referred to American workers? This is worse than that.
I have a story to tell about this that some of you may have read on facebook. I went home to northeast Arkansas for an early Christmas, and on my last day I went over to visit my parents' neighbors. They tell me about how their grandson claims he has broken the world record for "most quarters fit inside a belly button." He has videotaped it, sent it to the Guinness world record people and is awaiting confirmation, which could take weeks. Now, this guy on the video here actually fit 30 inside his belly button on a later video, which is also on youtube. Well, guess what. My neighbors' grandson says he fit 32. THIRTY-TWO.
I will keep you updated.
As long as we're nominating movies we know damn well aren't the WMOAT but just have a strong personal distaste for and want to see properly and hilariously slammed, I (re)submit Eyes Wide Shut.
I'm a fuckload older than 23, and I'm here to tell you that kids have always been brats. Always. With most parents, sometimes they indulge it, like say at Christmas when it seems best just to keep things lighthearted. Other times they don't. Yes, that's "inconsistent parenting," but apparently raising children according to everyone else's expectations is harder than it sounds.
Usually I'm on board with people complaining about how parents don't teach their kids manners anymore...but this? I don't know. Maybe I'm reading his face all wrong, but he seems like he knows he's being a wise guy, and is secretly really enjoying himself. And the way he waves his hand at the next present, with that suspicious sidelong glance...if I had that kind of comic timing at that age I would be FAMOUS by now. (Though admittedly I question why his parents assumed everyone in the world would think he's as funny as they [and I] do.)
Also, he's three?
Shit always gets intense around here when I go on vacation. Who in the what happened?
I'm not going to go back and find the thread(s) everyone's referring to, but yeah, I feel this way sometimes, grace...but eh, what're you gonna do. I tend to scroll right over gifs because they make me dizzy, and the ones I do see typically aren't that germaine to the post, so I agree that they can be kind of annoying. But I think the comments are still great, probably better than ever. If I don't comment as much as I used to, it's only because the site has grown so much that by the time I read a post, someone has already made a comment like the one I was going to make or a much better one--or there are so many comments already that it feels pointless.
But it's good that Videogum is growing! And things evolve--they just do. I just try not to get overinvested in things like this, and maybe it's easier for me because I'm a little older than most of you guys and I've figured out how not to get overinvested in this kind of thing. But I think this place is here for people to have fun, without too many rules, and if it's not fun for you anymore maybe it's time to move on. It's a big world out there, probably.
I'm pretty sure he dislikes Kathy Griffin. And I imagine back in the '60s he thought The Judy Garland Show show was "the worst."
But (as a straight female) I'm really on board with his distaste for Chelsea Handler. A few weeks ago I was in an airport bookstore and opened one of her books out of idle curiosity. She was describing how she met this hot guy in a club and went home with him, but then she immediately bolted when saw how small his penis was. And I was like, "you are terrible. I hate you." Because that's just rude, and not funny.
I hope none of you made plans to see shows, go sightseeing or meet up with friends that weekend, because I have a complete itinerary all mapped out. You should just go ahead and set your iPhone alarm for 6 a.m.
Hey now, Hey Now! I absolutely agree that Love Actually is all those things, but Christmas with the Kranks is an actual celebration of our most superficial, materialistic, conformist holiday impulses, executed with zero comic flair and featuring no appealing actors (Love Actually at least had Bill Nighy). Ergo, it is worse.
While Christmas with the Kranks in point of fact IS the worst holiday movie ever, Love Actually would be the most fun to PRETEND is the worst holiday movie ever. So please do both.
If I was a kid in that audience, I'd probably avoid movie theaters for the rest of my life. To illustrate: When I was well into my 20s, I went to see "The Blair Witch Project" thinking I was finally over my squeamishness about horror movies. I slept with the hall light on for the next 6 months.
HOLD ON, BACK UP. Gabe and Da Cake Eatur might have interacted on Facebook? As Da Cake Eatur's chief musical chronicler, how was I not informed of this?
Gwyneth PaltrowAngelina JolieGwyneth PaltrowAngelina JolieGwyneth PaltrowAngelina JolieGwyneth PaltrowAngelina Joliefulless