Comments from schlocktober

Lindelof knows he got away with murder by parlaying "Lost" into an actual career. He and Cuse were always total hacks. I will never forget their shit-eating grins during the lead-in to the "Lost" finale. Fuck those guys right in their millionaire faces.
+4 |
October 17, 2013 on Goodbye, Damon Lindelof’s Twitter Account
This is what passes for a ping pong ball trick these days?
+1 |
October 9, 2013 on At Least We Don’t Have To Play Ping Pong With Knives
I will take this opportunity to point out that, as a kid, I thought the lyrics were "My anus will face it, I'm addicted to love."
+5 |
June 3, 2013 on This Little Boy Is Today’s #1 Internet Hero
The opening scene of season 4 was a glorified Eggo commercial that could have featured the characters from any two-bit sitcom. It was the beginning of the end. Is this news the end of the beginning?
+1 |
June 3, 2013 on Want To Talk About Dan Harmon Returning To Community?
The writer of that commercial is a total JAG Officer.
+4 |
May 23, 2013 on It Is 2013, Right?
Wait, did Idris Elba die? Because otherwise, this is just silly.
+23 |
May 1, 2013 on Benedict Cumberbatch Is, Once Again, Britain’s Sexiest Man
If there was audio, you could hear him yelling "Five-Oh, Five-Oh!" as he runs toward the house.
+9 |
April 24, 2013 on Child Has Right Idea, Steals Car To Escape Church
Human multitasking is a fallacy.
+1 |
April 17, 2013 on Total Epic FAIL
H&G2: Jeremy Renner: Less Likable than Bradley Cooper?
+1 |
March 19, 2013 on What Should The Tagline Be For The Hansel And Gretel: Witch Hunters Sequel?
I wish I didn't know anything about KCC. Then I could maintain the illusion that video was actually the most self-aware thing I've ever seen. Alos, Star Wipe! (I'm taking my name off this.)
+5 |
March 18, 2013 on Katherine Chloe Cahoon Makes Her Mark On The “Harlem Shake” Meme Perfectly And Right On Time
I've never seen Walking Dead, but I really liked that sketch. It kills me when Nasim plays children.
0 |
March 11, 2013 on Saturday Night Live: Kevin Hart And Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
Like a boss!
+10 |
March 11, 2013 on Mid-Day Dance Break!
She is behaving like a typical smart-ass teenager. The judge is a petty blowhard who's abusing his authority. It is irresponsible of him to let his personal feelings determine sentences. Now we get to foot the bill for her 30-day incarceration for not adequately kissing his ass.
-4 |
February 5, 2013 on The Perfect Crime: Flipping Off The Judge In The Court Room
It's your basic Staute of Liberty play, with one exception.
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January 31, 2013 on A New Addition To Our Sports Blooper Reel!
Before this became a basketball fail, it was a running fail. That is a seriously indoor kid (takes one to know one).
+3 |
January 25, 2013 on Incredible Basketball Trick Shot Wait For It!
He's a pretty good Topher Grace impersonator. Good, not great.
0 |
January 20, 2013 on This Is Just A Good Pizza Review
The mounting popularity and appeal of Bradley Cooper is the surest sign that I do not have the slightest fucking clue about what other humans enjoy.
+8 |
January 17, 2013 on BREAKING: Bradley Cooper Has Permed His Hair At Least Once
I wish I could hear Roker tell this story in person, so I could savor what must be a very dramatic pause between, "a little something extra came out," and, "I pooped my pants.” You know, to give the audience a moment to wonder, in silent awe.
+11 |
Woomba 2.0
+2 |
January 2, 2013 on Baby On A Roomba
Mantises are the most inherently kung-fu creature on the planet. They move like a leaves in the wind.
+6 |
September 7, 2012 on Do Not Watch: Transparent Mantis Eats Fly
No, wait, my real caption is: "Just be thankful I didn't fake my own death in front of 60,000 people at a football stadium."
+13 |
September 4, 2012 on The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Faked Death Public Marriage Proposal
"Make the gauze doo-rag a permanent thing, and you got yourself a fiance." When I started reading this post, I was thinking, "That's pretty fucked up, right there." But then I got to his justification, and I thought, "He's kinda got a point."
-1 |
September 4, 2012 on The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Faked Death Public Marriage Proposal
A white guy impersonating Louis Armstrong is like sonic blackface. What if you're a white guy who's vocal cords were damaged so that you can't help but sound like Louis Armstrong? Then you don't sing.
+1 |
August 22, 2012 on That’s Your 55-Year-Old Karaoke Emcee DJ: Diamond Dave
How are these "fails?" This video is the very essence of trampolining.
+3 |
August 21, 2012 on The Ultimate Trampoline Fails Compilation
They pulled off a really neat pivot in this episode. The story deals with the dead child so efficiently. By the end of the episode, the focus is entirely on the direct conflict between Walt and Jesse/Mike.
+1 |
August 21, 2012 on Breaking Bad S05E06: You Don’t Get 500 Million Meth Dollars Without Making A Few Frenemies
This video is the the most abstract suicide note ever.
+10 |
August 20, 2012 on Learn How To Eat A Watermelon In Slightly Under 10 Minutes