I wish I could hear Roker tell this story in person, so I could savor what must be a very dramatic pause between, "a little something extra came out," and, "I pooped my pants.” You know, to give the audience a moment to wonder, in silent awe.
"Make the gauze doo-rag a permanent thing, and you got yourself a fiance."
When I started reading this post, I was thinking, "That's pretty fucked up, right there." But then I got to his justification, and I thought, "He's kinda got a point."
A white guy impersonating Louis Armstrong is like sonic blackface. What if you're a white guy who's vocal cords were damaged so that you can't help but sound like Louis Armstrong? Then you don't sing.
They pulled off a really neat pivot in this episode. The story deals with the dead child so efficiently. By the end of the episode, the focus is entirely on the direct conflict between Walt and Jesse/Mike.
Damn it. Now I'm going to be at a meeting, with somebody going on and on about something important to them, and I'm going to start laughing inappropriately because, "Put a dick in it."
And before you "flame" "me" over my taste in celebrity boobs, know that I am actually an asexual space-angel, sent to earth for... not sure why, but I think it has something to do with the electric bass. Anyway, because of my "condition (asexuality, thanks for making me spell it out.)," I had to rely on the internet for info about boobs.
On a related note, has anybody ever noticed that the internet is a veritable font of information about boobs?
15 is literally an odd number of something that usually comes in pairs.
1. Christina Hendricks, left
2. Christina Hendricks, right
3. Scarlett Johansson, right
4. Sofia Vergara, right
5. Scarlett Johansson, left
and so on...
Or are the first 14 all matched pairs, and 15 is the odd duck, because, duh it's a Top 15 list, dum-dum. You can take your Top 16 list and Katy Perry's left boob straight to hell!
I seem to recall that guy getting killed toward the end of "Ghost Dog." (No spoiler alert, because of course you've seen "Ghost Dog.") He had the titular line in response to the question, "Are you the guy who will eventually bring us the website economicplanforamerica.com?"
"I will be dead soon. You're thinking of my ghost, dog."
I want to see the scene where they return his stuff and read the inventory out loud.
Officer:
One Wallet, Leather.142 dollars, cash. One belt, lizard.
Nicholas Cage: That's alligator, chief.
Officer: Duly noted. One pack of gum, Orbit. One wig, short.
(awkward pause)
One wig, long.
Nicholas Cage: It's my wife's. I swear it.
Officer: Just sign the receipt.
Nicholas Cage: You have made a powerfully weird enemy today, amigo.
Remember when we collectively hallucinated that video of R.Kelly peeing on a child? Can you imagine how strange it would be if we hadn't all imagined that? Like, if he was still a superstar even though we all literally watched him pee on an actual child. That would be so weird!
I hear what you're saying about REAL superheroes. What until I finish my screenplay about a guy who can talk to marsupials. It's called "The Pouch." And yes, he's a male marsupial with a pouch, because shut up. It's just a movie!
Anything with Fred Armisen will have its moments, but the first two episodes of Portlandia were essentially pointless. The fact that a community exists which still exhibits many of the risible qualities people displayed in the 90's doesn't change the fact that you are mocking phenomena that people stopped caring about years ago. Add in the fact the the particular subjects are the easiest targets imaginable (like shooting a fish taped to a gun), and I have a hard time seeing this show as anything other than a lazy inside joke. If you live Portland it might be funny, but the whole premise of the show is that you if you live in Portland then your sensibilities are a decade out of fashion.
Comments