Comments from Skillet

There doesn't seem to be a lot of angst at the Banana Mango High School of Life, so it's got that going for it.
+4 |
June 9, 2010 on This Is What You See Right Before You’re Born
This could be a new trend where celebrities make movies titled after things that define or interest them. Or at least a party game. Like Paris Hilton in "Penis", or Gweneth Paltrow in "Myself" or "Myself 2, Still Me" you get the idea.
+51 |
June 7, 2010 on In A Surprise To No One, The Trailer For 50 Cent’s New Movie Gun Looks Terrible And Makes No Sense
"I have a "normal" straight marrige and it's not boring at all. Especially since my wife has an enormous and unwieldy penis." - Ted Haggard
+23 |
June 7, 2010 on Gay Marriage Would Be Just As Boring As Regular Marriage, Obviously
Same old hollywood story of a meteoric rise to sitcom fame followed by an equally meteoric languid downward spiral into peaceful old age and an eventual death from typical old age complications. Cliché.
+8 |
June 3, 2010 on Heaven Just Got A Little More Rue McClanahan
I prefer Amtrak's "the drunk next to me threw up on my dining car hot dog made from the innards of the last person this train hit" two-step.
+9 |
March 26, 2010 on This One Is For Kevin Smith
I'll have what she's having... but with a little less orgasm and can we get a refill on these waters please?
+31 |
March 24, 2010 on Best New Party Game: 19: #calmmovielines
I'm most excited for the inevitable woefully misguided marketing tie in with a certain poultry processing company...
+4 |
March 16, 2010 on Mike Tyson Racing Pigeons Is A TV Show?
"It's much harder to help Haiti with your pants down, but it is a lot easier to swordfight."
+12 |
March 2, 2010 on The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Jeremy Piven And Bill Clinton
That desk does look like it was made out of some sort of wood fastened together by the pulpy tears of a failed woodworker, finished with a varnish of gaudy dispair that just makes everyone uncomfortable.
+6 |
March 2, 2010 on R.I.P. The Tonight Show
It's symbolic of both a generational and cultural division, and highlights at least some of the ways these groups do not understand each other. So, at the very least it's kind of interesting I think.
+12 |
March 2, 2010 on R.I.P. The Tonight Show
Brighton Beacccph or Grand Theft Auto 4
+8 |
March 1, 2010 on Name The Russian Jersey Shore
It's ok to like things when other people don't! Really. Liking things isn't about certainty. I never enjoy something and think "and those who don't enjoy this are liars!!" Nobody's really picking sides and nobody will have to go to court to defend the marriage ref. I don't think.
+3 |
March 1, 2010 on The Marriage Ref For The FAIL
You know what? Screw it. "Riddle me this: what's a napkin that goes in your lap but with which you do not wipe your mouth."
+12 |
March 1, 2010 on Whoopi Goldberg Has Made 8 Ads About Peeing Her Pants, And They Are All Very Real And Very Hilarious
This show is eight full sacks of bad presumptions. Starting with that audiences will watch any of these people do anything. I won't! Also, presumptions come in sacks. ALSO, I can post without safari crashing, so whatever else you can say about new videogum, that part wins in my book, the book of iPhone compatibility with a prologue concerning boredom at work.
+7 |
March 1, 2010 on The Marriage Ref For The FAIL
The best place to put conversation pieces is in the bathroom, where all the conversation happens. In my apartment, for instance, most of the conversation revolves around why the toilet is still flushing and usually ends in complex discourse concerning the jiggling of the handle. And world peace.
+18 |
February 26, 2010 on Oscar In The Bathroom Watch: Kate Winslet Edition
...or the new video model from Crystal Swing's new single "He Drinks Whey Protein".
+3 |
February 26, 2010 on Videogum’s Teen Korner: The Taylor Lautner Abs Drama
The opponents of national healthcare who say "you don't want to have socialized healthcare like in Britain" have just lost the debate. Because if our hospitals had this I'd totally visit grandma more often.
+6 |
February 26, 2010 on You Wish The Quarantine Rapper Was Your Boyfriend
I drink NAPAALM and Battery Acid. Where's my song guys?
+3 |
February 26, 2010 on Crystal Swing Presents “He Drinks Tequila”
My new job at an unnamed energy company has blocked videogum. I did not know this when I took the job. But if I eventually get promoted high enough, I'm going to have IT unblock it just for me. And give me a mat for the office to dance along to Gwenyth's workout video.
+7 |
February 23, 2010 on Taking One For The Team: Gwyneth Paltrow Work Out Routine
IN related news, Atlanta, GA is experiencing a recent fury of electrical storms and tornadoes believed to be related to grave spinning, re: Martin Luther King Jr.
+24 |
February 16, 2010 on One Ginger’s Call To Arms
My favorite part is "I was skinny my entire life, until I gained 75 pounds." Pardon? That whole sentence was a prelude to an explanation that never came.
+12 |
February 9, 2010 on Kirstie Alley Is Almost As Busy As She Is Fat, Says Kirstie Alley
I know something Rip Torn doesn't. Garbonzo's going down in the third quarter. The cutest fix ever is in Rip, and this, like many, many others, is not your day.
+6 |
February 4, 2010 on You Can Make It Up: Rip Torn Gambles On The Puppy Bowl
It's closer than you think. Most people know Phoenix from that Cadillac commercial, and according to The Jersey Shore, this particular brand of Italians like Cadillacs a lot for some reason, so there ya go. Solved.
+20 |
February 4, 2010 on Worlds Been Had Colliding: Snooki And Phoenix Edition
I hear he's going to form a rap group with John Malkovich and Alan Rickman called Afterschool .38 Special. And I'm preemtively downvoting this because I'm ashamed this thought entered my head.
+2 |
February 4, 2010 on WARNING: Once You See David Hyde Pierce Rap “Boom Boom Pow” You Cannot Not Have Seen It
I would like to go on a date with the O'Riely Factor Body Language Analysis Girl but I'd be so unbelieveably self conscious, like "Wait, I just asked you to pass the salt, that wasn't a power gesture or anything just so you know..."
+6 |
February 4, 2010 on Jon Stewart And Bill O’Reilly Are Both Adults
Hey, don't go over to the Zef Side. It's kind of all weird and penis floppy-y over there.
+1 |
February 2, 2010 on Someone Please Give Die Antwoord Whatever They Want
This could be an elaborate attempt at a viral for Pajama Jeans. "So comfortable, you won't even know you're pregnant!"
+21 |
February 2, 2010 on Everything About I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant Is Depressing
I kind of want to apply for the role of Frank just to hear them tell me "you don't look Native American enough" in the quest for the strangest afternoon I've ever had.
+2 |
February 2, 2010 on Everything About I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant Is Depressing
Such amazing work on the caption contest by everyone. I have nothing as good to add. Y'all killin' it.
+3 |
February 1, 2010 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Vanity Fair Young Hollywood Cover