Derjis Sprongfeld

Comments from sprongfeld

Back in the late 1950s when I was in University, I had this one class that was absolutely enormous, like, literally hundreds of people all crammed into this hot, stuffy lecture hall. Nobody really talked to each other all that much, because it was super intimidating to be a face in this sea of hot, sweaty, miserable people learning about maths. What were people supposed to do? Turn to the person next to them and be all, like, “HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU LOLZ”?
Anyway, we were writing our finals, and this guy goes to hand in his exam, turns to the lecture hall and yells in the most sarcastic way imaginable “It’s been a slice!”, takes a big bow and exits Lecture Hall Left. I have no idea who the guy was, and never saw him again. Or maybe I did? The world is a pretty zany place! Maybe we ran into each other at a concert or something; maybe we played hacky sack one time; maybe he’s the guy who drives my bus. Who knows?
I guess what I’m trying to say, in as long and rambling a fashion as possible, is that it’s been a real adventure, guys. I didn’t contribute much (although Gabe did post an article based on one of my tips once!), but Videogum has been a big part of my day for the past 5 years. Lindsay, Gabe and Kelly all made me laugh when I had no other reason to. All of you nerds in the comments section were OK, too I guess.

So with a complete lack of irony or sarcasm, it’s been a slice! Who knows, maybe we’ll meet again someday. MAYBE I’M THE GUY DRIVING THE BUS THAT YOU’RE SITTING ON RIGHT NOW!!!

+22 |
February 7, 2014 on Heaven Just Got A Little More Videogum

Hey, nerds! Long time lurker, longer-time reader. I’ve been away from Videogum for the past couple of weeks; popped by and noticed that all of the recent posts were re-posts, and I was all, like, “wut? Is Kelly on vacation?”, and then I kept going through the posts, and eventually was all, like, “WWWUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.”
Sad news, friends. It’s been a slice.

+25 |
February 4, 2014 on Holy Shit: Gwyneth Paltrow Gives “Helpful Advice” To Busy “Working Moms” Like Herself

Is that a ham-fisted ‘November Rain’ reference I see at 3:28…?

0 |
August 20, 2013 on New Avril Lavigne Video, Y’all! (Feat. Billy Zane, Danica McKellar, And Sony Phone)

And yes, I really DID mean to type “Kelly car bring the laffz”.

+7 |
July 30, 2013 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It?! Contest: Alien Gossip At The Big Game

Haha, you will definitely be missed, Gabe. You brought an intellectualism and a class (?) to Videogum that is quite rare in the snark-filled wasteland that is the blogosphere.

Not that Kelly isn’t hilarious, mind you; she’s great! She car really bring the laffz! It seemed a little desperate that she kept turning up to work in spite of having been fired all of those times, TBH, but wuttayagunnado *shrugs*

+8 |
July 30, 2013 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It?! Contest: Alien Gossip At The Big Game

Stephen King is a TERRIBLE writer… I sat down and tried to read ‘Under the Dome’ a few months ago. I managed to slog through until I hit this passage:

“His mother’s voice in his head: ‘Don’t let yourself get out of control, honey.’ She was dead and still wouldn’t stop giving advice. ‘Teach her a lesson, but make it a little one.’
And he really might have managed to do that, but then her robe came open and she was naked underneath it. He could see the dark patch of hair over her breeding-farm, her goddamn itchy breeding-farm that was all the fucking trouble, when you got right down to it those farms were all the fucking trouble in the world, and his head was throbbing, thudding, whamming, smashing, splitting.”

Oh, brother. Cheque, please.

+6 |
July 2, 2013 on SPOILER ALERT: The Characters In Under The Dome Are Still Trapped Under The Dome

Apparently they don’t teach you what “CGI” stands for in Kung Fu school…

+1 |
May 14, 2013 on This Is Just A Good Movie Trailer

Except that I’m pretty sure I remember Courtney Stodden going on at length about how she was going to do Playboy as soon as she was of-age, and Playboy issuing a formal statement essentially saying “Uh, thanks, but no thanks. We prefer our naked skanks less trashy.” And I was all, like *Tim Allen voice* “rrruuuuuuhhhhh? Didn’t Playboy let Lindsay Lohan, International Escort do a spread?”

+1 |
May 14, 2013 on Courtney Stodden’s Mom Is A Good Manager, Says Courtney Stodden’s Mom

Anyone else think that this might just be a big ol’ Jon Hamm-style goof on the paparazzo?

+2 |
November 9, 2012 on BREAKING NEWS STORY: Is Jon Hamm’s Longtime Girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt Making Him Wear Underwear?!

I’ve been cutting a corporate video for a guy who makes his living giving talks on obesity, kind of like a Tony Robbins for overweight people. He’s one of our country’s foremost Scienceticians of Obesity.
I’m a scrawny little guy who’s never really struggled with his weight, and, I admit, I’ve got my hangups with overweight people. It seems like there’s far too much of the whole “victim mentality” thing going around when it comes to obesity; obesity is a serious problem, with serious consequences to your health, and the the healthcare system! Maybe just cut down on the Baconators! I know that not eating Baconators isn’t your absolute favourite thing to do, but give it a shot! You might like it!
ANYway, it’s been really quite interesting to listen to this guy talk. I can’t say that I’ve 100% flipped my position on the subject, but I definitely have a new perspective on things; certainly a lot more empathy for what overweight people go through.

+2 |
November 8, 2012 on How Was Everyone’s Day Today?

Wooooooops! That should have been in reply to Simon Spidermonk!

0 |
October 23, 2012 on Best New Party Game 72: Final Presidential Debate Movies

Up here in Canada, we somehow managed to elect the Canadian version of Mitt Romney into a majority government a couple of years back (and when I say “we”, I mean 39% of the population voted for him — Democracy in action, folks!). He wasted no time throwing money at super-prisons and ridiculously expensive fighter jets, dismantling and de-funding the departments of anyone who dared disagree with him, and generally setting our country back about 50 years. Deeply disturbing right-wing lunacy isn’t just confined to America, unfortunately…

+1 |
October 23, 2012 on Best New Party Game 72: Final Presidential Debate Movies

*terrible Korean accent*
“I see you’ve prayed Knifeee-Spoonee before.”

0 |
October 16, 2012 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Wolverine Gangnam Style

*terrible Australian accent*
“Thet’s noht a fayke-plestic-nerd-clohws-whoile-roiding-an-imaginary-hohrse.”

0 |
October 16, 2012 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Wolverine Gangnam Style

Based on this, I’m guessing that Clint Eastwood was the head writer of the last 15 Academy Awards…

+3 |
August 31, 2012 on Clint Eastwood Interviews Some Awful Chair

He’s wearing our generation’s MC Hammer pants.

+4 |
August 8, 2012 on Jaden Smith Is OUR Generation’s Willow Smith

Hey, nerds, what’s up? No particularly hilarious quips to make, just wanted to offer up a kuhdoooz to one miss Kelly Conaboy. Not for anything to do with this post, really; this just happened to be where I landed. I was a little skeptical of her when she first signed on, but she’s really grown on me. Keep it up, Kelly! You’re great!
Anyway, that’s about it. Just thought I’d throw a, y’know, a positive comment out there. You kids can go back to being needlessly angry about things which have no bearing on your day-to-day existences and trying SOOOOO HARD to one up each other with your clever wisecracks, now!


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July 25, 2012 on Here Are Some Afternoon Links!

Kitty Pride is the “Girls” of the modern indie music scene.

“Girls” the TV show, not “Girls” the now-defunct band…

0 |
July 5, 2012 on Download Kitty Pryde Haha, I’m Sorry EP

“Hey, would you like to watch a washed up pop singer shill for some large corporation before you and I discuss terrible fake-rap videos?”

+3 |
July 3, 2012 on Conversation Starters For Your Barbecue

Who’s the lady in the pic towards the end of the post? Is she the star of the new reboot of that porno about Sarah Palin…? “Nailin’ Pailin: ORIGINS”…?

+1 |
July 2, 2012 on The Amazing Spider-Man Is As Fun As It Is Unnecessary