teenage eagle

Comments from teenage eagle

Watching her Letterman "interviews" on YouTube is what got me through college, no joke. "Here's another fun fact: snakes don't have ears!" And the knitted iPhone...oh my god.
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August 31, 2011 on Amy Sedaris Was On Jimmy Fallon Last Night And It Was Fantastic
Since Roma Downey is involved, I can only assume that she will be playing all the angels.
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May 24, 2011 on Mark Burnett Making A Reality Show About The Bible, Basically
Sorry, Dr. Sheela Stocks, growing up is not a "cultural norm." It is a thing EVERYONE DOES, EVERYWHERE. Because if we all decided to not grow up, we would quickly run out of apple juice and Frosted Flakes and everyone would die.
+5 |
May 4, 2011 on That’s Your Baby: Adult Baby
"What is this? Berets?" was my favorite line of the night.
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April 27, 2011 on Glee S02E18: Open Thread
Oh, my busy lifestyle! Just chillin' in the parking lot, drinking my latte, watching ladies for a half hour before I go to work.
+38 |
April 12, 2011 on This Is Your Adult Bib: The Slobstopper
Probably a little to late, but can we all talk about Alec Baldwin's eyelashes? He always looks pretty straight on 30 Rock, and maybe it's the black and white, but those eyes are definitely bi-curious.
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April 12, 2011 on Alec Baldwin Vs. John Krasinski
Can anyone look more like the inflatable autopilot from Airplane!? I submit that they CANNOT!
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March 24, 2011 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: John Travolta Is Not A Real Pilot
Cross-Eyed At Birth: or, A Lifetime of Getting Asked, "Hey, Are You Looking at Me? Really?"
+2 |
November 19, 2010 on Win A Copy Of Sterling’s Gold: Wit And Wisdom Of An Ad Man!
Sorry, the music video for "Into a Fantasy" is the life-changer of the group, because HOLY SHIIIIIIIIT. http://utahwolfproductions.com/movies/Into.wmv
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October 6, 2010 on Professional Acting Advice
This is obviously not an issue of Candy, the #1 youth magazine in the Philippines.
+12 |
October 6, 2010 on James Franco In Drag, Obviously (That’s Your Ex-Boyfriend?)
When he was describing the Dark Lord's second-in-command "gruff" lady (lesbian) from "Fantasy", I was picturing James Franco in drag, which is probably a pretty good approximation.
+9 |
October 6, 2010 on Professional Acting Advice
My cousin works at Dairy Queen, but you don't see me bragging about it.
+33 |
October 1, 2010 on Headline Of The Day: “Jesse Eisenberg’s Cousin Works At Facebook”
Every time the announcer says "the 62nd Emmy Awards", I hear "the 60 second Emmy Awards" and suddenly believe in mercy and justice, but then Padma and Gail get up and do...that, and the dream dies.
+31 |
August 29, 2010 on The 2010 Jon Cryer Awards Open Thread
+6 |
June 29, 2010 on Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1 Is Our Generation’s Bethenny Getting Married?
Less cinematic, but equally embarrassing, are the times he interrupts family dinners to explain the finer points of the Lego Bionicle saga to his grandma.
+21 |
May 6, 2010 on Please Be More Careful, Nerds!
As a firm believer that every person of every age should be able to do everything, I support this episode 100 percent! Which is also why I get frustrated that my baby has no idea how to use his iPhone. I mean, what an idiot!
+23 |
May 5, 2010 on Betty White, An Elderly Woman, Hosts Saturday Night Live This Weekend
I used to think the Northern Lights were just reflections from the movies God was projecting onto the polar ice cap for His viewing pleasure, but now I know that it's just some dumb, natural shit. Thanks for ruining my child-like sense of wonder, SCIENCE.
+12 |
April 26, 2010 on Violent J Explains “Miracles”
Dear Gabe, You are a smart guy and I love you like a monster father, but hearing Stefon say "Wesh" and "Joaquin Phoenix" over and over again on Hulu last night made me giggle so hard that now, I find myself no longer frightened by the forthcoming events of 2012. A biological change, maybe. A magical change, definitely. At times like this, we need to all embrace the magic. Love, T.E. (Teddy graham Eagle) p.s. A gif of Stefon saying "WHAT?" would be perfection, plz!!!
+21 |
April 26, 2010 on Saturday Night Live: Let’s Not And Gabourey We Sidibed (Uh, what?)
"Just wait until you see my bee-youtiful tablescape - it's super super simple. All I did was spray my Ocean Dreams tablescape with milk and then set it in the sun for five hours!"
+13 |
March 9, 2010 on The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Sandra Lee’s Cocktail Face
Whatevs. I just sued Google for 200 million for their Superbowl commercial because one time I googled "Churches in Paris" but I was single at the time and they are OBVIOUSLY mocking my inability to find love in this awful, awful world.
+60 |
March 9, 2010 on Instant Classic: Lindsay Lohan Is Suing The E-Trade Baby
I'm sorry, I couldn't actually read any of the captions. I was too distracted by Kathy Griffin's TERRIBLE ACTING. Maybe I was just waiting for her to make fun of Celine Dion.
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March 4, 2010 on Too Many LOLs Is The Hospital
"Knackered" aside, she also spelled "scent" wrong. As in, the "sent" of lavender. As in, "I was sent from heaven, and if your sheets are made of jersey, I'm not taking you back with me." Gross.
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March 4, 2010 on Gwyneth Paltrow Has Just Discovered Sleep. Neat!
In the words of Louise Bogan, "There was so much to love, I could not love it all; I could not love it enough." I will go to a quiet corner now and think about my thoughts.
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February 26, 2010 on Crystal Swing Presents “He Drinks Tequila”
This is sort of like seeing the Wiggles doing gansta rap off-camera. Or Kristin Stewart smiling between takes. That said, if I was playing Rainbow Dash, I'd sure as hell do this as a warm-up.
+2 |
February 23, 2010 on My Little Ponies Perform Showtunes And/Or Two Tickets To Nightmare Town