the hammer is my penis

Comments from the hammer is my penis

Yay me, indeed. Penis stories are the best kind of stories! I see the logic of not using euphemisms when talking to kids about genitalia. Better to teach them correctly them to fill their heads with silly nicknames just to make the adults more comfortable, I assume is the logic? Makes sense. But I know I would just chicken out and be all, "ummm.. well, Johnny, that's the doggie's super-secret special dingalingdong." Which is why I could never work at a daycare center. That, and the court order. Thank you Hausfrau for the suggestions. "The Penis is my Penis" and "The Hammer is My Pennies," are definitely in contention. But after reading your story, I'm now also considering changing my name to, "The Hammer is Mr. Hausfrau's Dog's Red Rocket." I can't see any reason Gabe would bristle at that.
+16 |
April 30, 2011 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
But see, now I'm torn. I love me some "Dr. Horrible," but at the same time, Gabe apparently hates my handle, and I am merely a guest in his bloghouse. Gabe, would, "The Pliers are my Penis," be less distasteful?
+41 |
April 29, 2011 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
BIG congratulations Werrtrew. Awesome news. ("Elizabeth Rose" is a great name too). As a father of two, I will tell you this: if you haven't yet watched, "The happiest baby on the block," please do. The five "S"'s will save your sanity.
+22 |
April 29, 2011 on Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments
http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/gabe.png
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April 29, 2011 on Gabe And Max Like The Internet: Episode One
Isn't it bad feng shui to have the Rick Astley album cover on the same horizontal plane as the "baby's first green plastic ring stack" toy?
+11 |
April 29, 2011 on Gabe And Max Like The Internet: Episode One
http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/liz2.jpg
+18 |
April 29, 2011 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Goodbye, Michael Scott
And I realized that, like, the MOMENT I hit "submit comment." Me: "Duh, because there's three of them, so they make a sandwich, and Steve Martin is the bread, and..." Sigh. My mother always told me I was too dumb to understand sandwich jokes. I never realized just how right she was. I still love the basic concept of Steve Martin bread, however.
+9 |
April 28, 2011 on The Three Amigos Reunited!
I have no idea what this is referring to, but I still love this quote.
+4 |
April 28, 2011 on The Three Amigos Reunited!
Mr. Richard Schroeder concurs. http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/rick.jpg
+5 |
April 28, 2011 on Donald Trump Secures The Powerful Joey Lawrence Endorsement
I hope you know that now, not only is Jerry Jones going to draft you in round 2, he's going to trade UP to get you.
+2 |
April 28, 2011 on Donald Trump Secures The Powerful Joey Lawrence Endorsement
http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/joey.jpg
+19 |
April 28, 2011 on Donald Trump Secures The Powerful Joey Lawrence Endorsement
Remember kids: Tricks are something a whore does for money. Or candy! http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/job2.jpg
+30 |
April 28, 2011 on Make Believe Trailer, You Guys
Me, One Hour Ago: "I think I'll make a dumb NFL reference on Videogum. No one's gonna read it, probably." Me, 30 Seconds Ago: "Let's check out that sports joke to see how many downvotes it got and... whoa! Lookit all the dudes talking football! Sweet!" (Me, About 9 Hours From Now: "Goddammit Jerry Jones. You screwed up ANOTHER Cowboys draft?!?!")
+9 |
April 28, 2011 on 10 Tips For Hosting A Royal Wedding Viewing Party
Frigid and square. The perfect metaphor for their love.
+53 |
April 28, 2011 on 10 Tips For Hosting A Royal Wedding Viewing Party
Why are we even talking about the royal wedding when the NFL draft is tonight? If you want me to give a shit about Prince William and Miss Catherine, tell me their 40 yard dash times and which of them tested positive for steroids.
+26 |
April 28, 2011 on 10 Tips For Hosting A Royal Wedding Viewing Party
"our wheels touched and ground together and he fell down on the rink " Bullshit. You PUSHED me.
+53 |
April 27, 2011 on The Bully Project Trailer, You Guys
http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/cool.jpg
+31 |
April 27, 2011 on Lindsay Lohan On The Tonight Show OR: Pets Wearing Sunglasses
"She did HOW much coke?!" http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/dog2.jpg
+15 |
April 27, 2011 on Lindsay Lohan On The Tonight Show OR: Pets Wearing Sunglasses
Meanwhile on Earth2, Cindy McCain is watching Charles Gibson and Ricki Lake share a McRib.
+66 |
April 26, 2011 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Michelle Obama Watches Al Roker And Kelly Ripa Eat A Crepe
No thanks. I think I'll skip this movie, along with all the others, and simply stay home this summer to read a few good books. (this comment sponsored by Barnes and Noble)
+26 |
April 26, 2011 on That’s Your City: POM Wonderful Presents: The Greatest Movie Ever Sold, Pennsylvania
"I am not real Saddam. The real Saddam Hussein has a scar on his forehead. I am no scar. I am no scar. Dot com" http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/saddam.jpg
+29 |
April 26, 2011 on The Devil’s Double Trailer, You Guys
I bet in this version, when they wiggle their fingers and make air guitar gestures, the soundtrack just plays the "sad trombone" sound from the Price is Right.
+23 |
April 25, 2011 on EXCLUSIVE: First Look At The Bill & Ted 3 Screenplay
Well, someone was going to do it eventually: http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/sadT.png
+36 |
April 21, 2011 on You Can Make It Up: Skynet Gets Out Of Bed In The Morning
How come every time I click on this story, I get this? http://i242.photobucket.com/albums/ff185/Deebs2288/fox3.png
+36 |
April 21, 2011 on Remember When Megan Fox Was A Thing?
I thought the "guy riding on the subway while holding a rat in his mouth" video already did that.
+14 |
April 21, 2011 on Stanley Tucci Has A Show About Wine?
As we speak, Charlie Sheen is developing a syndicated talk show called, "Cocaine Chat." "So Lindsey, what do you think of as an 'effervescent' snort?" "Oh, I would half to go with the '09 Bolivia crop. Full bodied aroma, without a hint of pretension."
+5 |
April 21, 2011 on Stanley Tucci Has A Show About Wine?
A wimoweh, a-wimoweh a-wimoweh, a-wimoweh...
+19 |
April 20, 2011 on Go To Sleep, Baby Lions
"Farewell and adieu, to you fair late night comic. Farewell and adieu, you comic of shorts. For we've received orders to stunt cast our shark week. Perhaps Lorne Michaels shall see you no more."
+3 |
April 20, 2011 on Andy Samberg Named “Chief Shark Officer” Of Shark Week
Is he gonna be dropped into one of those shark cage things? 'Cause boy, will the "dick-in-a-box" jokes fly then.
+10 |
April 20, 2011 on Andy Samberg Named “Chief Shark Officer” Of Shark Week