I am not ashamed of that. Have you seen High Fidelity? It's just so good. Grosse Point Blank? Hilarious. Say Anything? Classic. Cradle Will Rock? So interesting. Being John Malkovitch? So different and fantastic.
I totally agree with your point. What I was trying to say, which I did not articulate properly, was not that the victims are the ones to blame, nor am I saying that verbal abuse is okay in any way, shape, or form.
What I was trying to say pertains to people who say they were bullied in non-specific ways. The people who thought that they were receiving dirty looks in the halls which possibly weren't dirty looks at all, or for people who thought that someone across the hall had to be laughing at them.
For a more specific example of the kind of thing I am talking about, when a boy is looking for a place to sit in the cafeteria, and the football team has taken an entire table, they probably weren't out to hurt anyone, they just happen to all hang out with each other and be friends because they're already on the same team.
It isn't a good feeling to not be included or to think people wish you harm and I hope no one has to go through that.
Now to clarify my original point. In high school I thought I was the victim of bullying. But hindsight is 20/20 and after looking back I realized that most people didn't even say mean things to me. I was just under the impression that because I was different, that people were going to be mean and bully me. So whenever someone looked at me in a way I didn't understand, or didn't include me in their specific group of friends I thought it was an attack. Now I realize that I only thought those things because I was trained by the movies I watched and the TV shows I saw to believe that was the way people are. Now I firmly believe people are better than the media and entertainment industry give them credit for, and while it won't cure the pain that people had to endure in their youth, the best way to stop this bullying craze today is to teach everyone to look for the good in each other instead of being on the defense from something that might not have ever been an attack in the first place.
It isn't the victims fault that they felt abused. And if it was true abuse then there is no excuse. But kids are looking at people wondering who is going to hurt them instead of being okay with themselves at the time. I wish I were okay with myself growing up, and I feel like teens would find growing up much easier if we help them to be okay with themselves, instead of helping them feel okay to be victimized.
While I didn't mean to offend anyone with my original comment, clearly things can be interpreted differently by different people, and that, along with Gobblegirl's response to my comment kind of prove my point. I'm sure most people on this blog can see that I wasn't out to hurt anyone with my comment, although it may have still offended, just as I'm sure Gobblegirl wasn't out to attack me, although it read like an attack to me.
We're all human. We joke, we say things without thinking, we make faces, we laugh, we take our frustrations out on the next person we see. What I can say to my friends I might not be able to say to a stranger, and how I react to someone who knows me well could come off very differently to someone who just met me. But isn't it plausible that if the message we spread through the world today is a message of love and patience and understanding and embracing of ones self along with ones peers, instead of a message of tolerance of others and fear of others and defense against hate, we would pull through happier in the end?
Again, sorry if I offended. Completely not what I meant to do, or even to cast blame on people. I just felt like I could share my opinions here.
Ok so no joking for once, I honestly don't believe that these celebrities and other people of the arts were bullied nearly as much as they believe.
Now don't get me wrong, growing up is hard and other teens don't make it any easier, but I was a theatre kid all through out middle school and high school and there were a small handful of people who picked on me for it. Yeah, people started rumors that I was gay but it was just because they didn't understand me. They generally weren't setting out to hurt me.
In my experience, people who believed they were bullied were actually just so uncomfortable with themselves and had such low self esteem from the things that they saw on TV and the way the media and entertainment industry perceived high school and middle school. To clarify, people are told that because they are different, others will be mean to them... so they look for reactions in other people and perceive it as mean.
The cure to end bullying is to stop spreading this false reality where everyone is out to hurt one another. Then we can start looking for the good in people instead of the hate.
You know what Ian, I think you just might be right. All this time I've been wondering why I'm not a better person, when all the while it has been because I've never had the sudden epiphany I needed to spark a change in me. Perhaps if I could ignite that change myself without someone having to show me just how much the things I do hurt other people, then I could become the change I wish to see in the world. Right!?....... HAHAHA WRONG! FUCK OFF, GANDHI!
"Oh, right, Margaret, you wanted prime rib. Here's the deal: The Palm wasn't taking reservations, and I didn't even try Morton's because I understand they have a new chef. So for now, let's just go with the Alpo, okay? I know it's not your first choice but keep in mind... you're a fucking dog!"
I know I'm late to this party but I wish Lizzy Caplan were my valentine. She is just the best and not a Mean Girl at all and I would definitely let her Party Down on me in my Hot Tub Time Machine.
I kinda loved Todd Margaret... and also felt really uncomfortable around it... but also loved how uncomfortable it made me feel... and then felt uneasy about how much love I have for feeling uncomfortable.
Ah crap, no Being Human (UK Version)? Or Sherlock? Or The League? Or re-runs of Scrubs? Or Dexter? Or old episodes of Sports Night? Or old episodes of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip? This is not my kind of list... I'll vote for Parenthood.
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