Brosworth

Recent college grad of Bard College. Majored in music (jazz performance and composition), with a heavy concentration in film. Currently stuck in the middle of New Jersey because loleconomy.

Comments from Brosworth

Phew, okay. For a moment I thought they had actually nominated that god damn Sarah Palin “documentary” The Undefeated, and I was about to throw down.

I’m still going to throw down though because this list is garbage.

+2 |
January 24, 2012 on The 2012 Academy Awards Nominees

Movember has gotten out of hand, you guys.

+9 |
December 1, 2011 on Just A Little Pre-Afternoon Pick-Me-Up

Really? Because when they did that long buildup before the reveal, I was definitely shouting at the TV “Oh jesus christ it’s going to be Sophia, isn’t it? It’s gonna be Soph-OH GOD DAMN IT IT’S SOPHIA.”

All I wanted was for somebody to finally off Shane, and instead all I got was killing the girl who was already essentially dead the entire fucking season.

ugh

+14 |
November 28, 2011 on The Walking Dead S02E07: Season Finale (Sort Of?)

I think EVERYONE has a crush on Annie, so I’m sure she just expects it.

That’s awesome though!

+2 |
November 4, 2011 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread

I can answer that! It was SOGOOD.YESSSS

Annie crowdsurfed while playing guitar on the final encore song (“Your Lips Are Red”), and I almost had a seizure from the ridiculous light show numerous times. And the potential knowledge that I was also in the same space as David Byrne AND Kelly makes me even happier.

+4 |
November 4, 2011 on Thursday Night TV Open Thread

My only regret is that it’s Friday so it’s unlikely this will make it to lowest comment.

Relationships and sex are discussed in everyday life, and it’s discussed in the military because they’re human beings who are placed into incredibly stressful situations and it’s something to talk about that isn’t completely shitty. You’re not going to stop it. Thus if heterosexuals are talking about it, then homosexuals deserve the same right to talk about a significant other.

“He’s right – it’s a volunteer organization – so if you can’t go in without being all activist and shoving your preference down people’s throats, then don’t do it.”

The fact that you think this is something that happens tells me that you have no fucking idea what you’re talking about and have completely ignorant views of gay people.

+17 |
September 23, 2011 on Another Republican Debate, Another Disgusting Nightmare!

Hahaha, nobody actually gives a shit what you say or think, Rick Santorum.

I’m so glad you’re going to die in complete obscurity and your only legacy will be that nobody can google your disgusting, hate-ridden name.

Fuck you and every single one of you people. You are a dying breed, and I can’t wait to dance on your fucking graves.

The end.

+26 |
September 23, 2011 on Another Republican Debate, Another Disgusting Nightmare!

I have so many questions about this, and yet I have a feeling I don’t want to know the answers.

+4 |
September 20, 2011 on Sometimes You Get Stuck In The Balloon

I’d love to see the memo that was spread around McDonald’s headquarters warning chain managers against the dangers of coning.

Also, go to bed, internet.

+11 |
September 15, 2011 on Anti-Coning Is The New Coning

“We agree!”

– The nation of Somalia

+36 |
September 13, 2011 on Tea Party Debate Audience Would Like Everyone To Die

All I know is that when a pollster asked a focus group about Rick Perry murdering a man who was later shown to be likely innocent, a human being actually responded verbatim, “I like that. It takes balls to kill an innocent man.”

I rest my case (my case being that this world is made of garbage and needs to be terminated).

+21 |
September 8, 2011 on Rick Perry Killed 234 People (APPLAUSE BREAK)

Also, I’ve only been to Bushwick once, and I never intend to return.

True story.

+1 |
August 10, 2011 on NYC Subway Nightmare

This sounds like every social anxiety I experienced at college combined with my extreme hatred of touching things and people on the subway mashed into one giant nightmare-fueled panic attack.

I would say I’m too old for this at 24, but that’s not the problem. I just fucking hate these people.

+3 |
August 10, 2011 on NYC Subway Nightmare

So this is basically my puppy. He’s around this size, equally as fluffy and adorable, and goes around latching onto people’s limbs and gnawing on them.

Clearly we did not do a good job in checking where he came from because he is obviously actually a Russian bear cub. Good to know.

+Array |
August 9, 2011 on Check Out How Cute This Bear Cub Is

So, judging by the last couple of robot uprising posts, the plan for the real robot uprising is to bake us ALL the delicious goods and make us all so obese that we will be unable to resist when the robots finally make their move.

Looks like some robots have seen WALL-E a few too many times.

+8 |
August 8, 2011 on ATTENTION CITIZENS! PLEASE PROCEED TO YOUR NEAREST ROBOT UPRISING EMERGENCY SHELTER AND AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTION!

All I got from this post is that I’m apparently the same age as Kelly. Hi Kelly!

+8 |
August 4, 2011 on 9-11: You Know, For Kids

This is pretty much exactly how I felt. Full disclosure: I LOVE Charlie Kaufman and think Malkovich, Adaptation, and Eternal Sunshine are all A+ films and not overrated. I was really intrigued by Synecdoche and liked it, but I really think Kaufman needed someone to reign him in just a little bit so it didn’t become so overwhelmingly surreal by the end. If everything is surreal, nothing is surreal.

Also, once again and forever – HEREAFTER

+6 |
July 25, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Synecdoche, New York

Am I the only one who was really hoping at the end that they would somehow forget that the cheesy epilogue existed and wouldn’t include it? Because seeing Radcliffe and co. Benjamin Button’d was actually more terrible than I could have imagined.

But other than that it was fun!

+25 |
July 18, 2011 on The Videogum Movie Club: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, Part 2

And here I thought we were in for an entire day of penguin and fart videos (maybe penguin fart videos as well).

Palin is a nightmarish clown, but the media is far more interested in her than the public is at this point. Even most of the people who view her favorably as a person don’t want to have anything to do with her as a potential presidential candidate and have moved onto other nightmarish clowns like Bachmann.

Getting angry at her like this at this point is just playing into her schtick of doing things to gain attention and then play the victim whenever someone criticizes her. Granted, not writing about her on a pop-culture comedy blog isn’t going to change anything, but it’s still occupying space and mental energy that could be put towards much worthier things (ie penguin fart videos).

+3 |
June 29, 2011 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: Matt Damon Doesn’t Want To Destroy Sarah Palin’s Children

Been a long time since I’ve bothered trying to nominate a film, but I will start doing this more often if need be.

HEREAFTER. I don’t even know how to describe how bad it is. It’s one of those movies that thinks it’s saying something so meaningful and big but in fact says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING.

I didn’t like Gran Torino when I saw it, but after Hereafter Gran Torino looked like a goddamn masterpiece.

+Array |
June 27, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Spread