It’s all downhill from here. There is no topping that. Alas, I flew too close to the Sun, and now my waxen wings do melt before my eyes as I tumble back down to the world of +5′s and +7′s
When asked to judge Lana Del Ray’s attractiveness, this is my thought process:
1. Her lips
2. What the fuck is going on with her lips?
3. Seriously can somebody help me with this because those do not look like human lips
4. Those lips are incredibly distracting right now
5. Everything else.
Wait, people think Lana Del Ray is attractive? I had no idea. Oh man I’m so out of the loop. At least my man-crush on Matt Berninger doesn’t feel as weird.
Persevere. Your time will come.
SIDENOTE: This joke works on the assumption that you have nicknamed your penis “Time”.
This was the kind of problem I thought there was a few years ago, where your music “cred” was perfectly aligned with what Pitchfork was saying. As far as I was aware, the backlash against Pitchfork (ie the one calling music they promote “hipster” music) was far stronger than any residual coolness that Pitchfork might have left.
Although I’m not entirely sure you can blame Pitchfork for people at a Bon Iver gig who didn’t know about For Emma. They were backing Justin Vernon long before Bon Iver’s self-titled record came out.
That’s exactly who I’m talking about, the unthinking sheep who base all their music purchases on whether or not Pitchfork like something, ie if Pitchfork like it, don’t buy it, if Pitchfork hate it, buy it. It’s an attempt to be cool through subversion, take something that’s considered to be “cool” (not that P4K has been for three years but you get the point), aggressively oppose it.
“I hate this list, not because of the musical choices, but because of a number of imaginary crimes Pitchfork have committed, including being too hipster, being too mainstream, being too biased towards lesser-known acts and being too biased towards more established acts. Disliking Pitchfork is cool and therefore I have to be seen to dislike Pitchfork’s music choices and loudly and quickly as possible”
~ Way too many people
Good Intentions Puppet Company
OK, scrap that, I’ve just realised that The Tallest Man On Earth’s The Wild Hunt isn’t here.
WORST LIST EVER!