vicarhelmet

Comments from vicarhelmet

Dammit, too slow. Sorry, Sebastian Paper. (Although I object to the idea that Vgum commenters are assholes. Relax, Sebastian Paper!)

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August 12, 2009 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: “Dudeism” Is Not A Religion

Say what you will about the tenets of Dudeism…at least it’s an ethos!

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August 12, 2009 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: “Dudeism” Is Not A Religion

Oh good, they’ve finally released Kubrick’s cut of “Eyes Wide Shut.”

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August 5, 2009 on Operation Watch This: Eric Wareheim’s Video For Major Lazer’s “Pon De Floor”

“Jesus wept” seems more appropriate, here.

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July 23, 2009 on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Recipe For Roasted Chicken

I think, actually, the suggestion was that she needs a new mom herself, because Gwyneth Paltrow is clearly the product of irresponsible parenting. Basically, Gwyneth Paltrow needs more spankings.

(With that image in mind, I humbly throw my hat in the ring for the position of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Mommy.)

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July 23, 2009 on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Recipe For Roasted Chicken

No, this is fine. The Videogum Moms Society needs to relax and realize that there’s nothing morally wrong with watching fake things happen to actors in a make-believe movie, no matter how gross it is. I don’t agree with you watching Saw, but I’ll defend to the death your right to do it, because America. Or something.

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July 23, 2009 on This Red Band Clip From Saw VI Is Everything That Is Wrong WIth The Saw Franchise

Funny? What do you mean I’m funny? Funny like a stand up comedian?

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July 10, 2009 on Best New Party Game 5

You ever dance with the devil in the broad daylight?

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July 10, 2009 on Best New Party Game 5

Funny story, “Play ‘As Time Goes By’ Sam” is actually the line that’s said in the movie. “Play it again, Sam” isn’t actually in the movie. It’s just the way people remembered it. A lot of quotations that sink into the cultural consciousness are actually misquotes, for some reason.

(Sorry, I know this isn’t movietriviagum.com.)

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July 10, 2009 on Best New Party Game 5

You haven’t read Hamlet until you’ve read it in its original Vampiric.

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July 1, 2009 on Twilight Fans Closing In On Star Trek Fans For Title Of Saddest Fans

It probably has more to do with the jaded, hip, snooty way you put your opinion out there. It’s not like your comment really invited a reasoned and informed debate. You catch more flies with honey than with saying “And I’m right about that.” Just sayin’.

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July 1, 2009 on Jay Leno Works On His Monologue Jokes As If That Was The Problem

I always thought The Fountainhead was more potent as a parable that teaches us the importance of personal and artistic integrity. I know that’s boiling it down a bit, but I don’t think you have to throw the baby out with the bathwater. (The baby is the essential moral of the story, and the bathwater is Ayn Rand’s personal biases and weird issues with sex.)

That said, most people who love the book tend to be incorrigible jerkfaces.

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June 30, 2009 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank

Woops, misread this. You actually LIKE Funny Games.

>>

<<

*runs away*

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June 29, 2009 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank

I’m gonna third this. Funny Games is doubly bad because it’s trying to make a SRS BZNSS point about violence in movies in the most unbearably smug way possible. It tries to argue that it isn’t the thing it’s criticizing, but it is, and that should be the point, but it isn’t because Haneke is maddeningly pompous. GAH. You can’t have your cake and rewind time back so that you can have it too, Todd.

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June 29, 2009 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank

Gran Torino should absolutely be Hunt material. It’s a Crash-caliber attempt at discussing race relations, and Eastwood makes himself into a Christ figure at the end. Seriously – he’s crucified by bullets. In the wrists. Some of it is kind of cute in that way that it’s kind of cute when your grandpa says things like “Charlie’s ruining the neighborhood,” except by kind of cute I mean kind of racist.

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June 29, 2009 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank

I’m just happy Gabe knows what Leisure Suit Larry is.

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June 29, 2009 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Crank

I’m really bad at commenting on anything on the internet, but as a professional videogum lurker since day one, I will really, really miss your voice here! Sad day indeed. :(((( Here’s hoping you land on your feet.

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June 26, 2009 on Have A Great Summer And Stay Sweet, You Guys!