videogumchewer

Comments from videogumchewer

This is why Vegas weddings were invented.

+4 |
June 26, 2012 on Dump Him, Girl: Wedding Party Falls In A Lake

I know who they should double date with…they can bring the cookies and these guys can bring the Kool Aid.

+2 |
June 1, 2012 on Two Men Shot In Fight Over Kool Aid

I feel bad for this kid because he has no role model in his life to educate him on tolerance, understanding, and the necessity of equality for all. He has no shot and right now that is not his fault. In a few years, when he is able to seek out his own information and form his own opinions it will be his fault, but right now, he’s being influenced by the wrong people and he had no choice in that. A child relies upon adults to guide them and he is being guided down the wrong path. Hopefully he can right the ship later in life.

+8 |
May 31, 2012 on “Ain’t No Homos Gonna Make It To Heaven”

The hilarious (not really hilarious) thing is that the construct of Heaven was created by men to keep people (subordinates) in line by instilling in everyone the overriding fear that bad behavior would lead to eternal damnation and good behavior would be rewarded with Heaven. (Also…it kept the poor in line by saying that the kingdom and riches would be theirs later for eternity, so don’t rise up against your abject poverty now.)

Now, for some reason this got all mucked up, and bad behavior is constantly used by people who throw Heaven in all of our faces. These are also the same people that don’t see any resemblances between the basic premises and stories of the religions of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. But whatever, they’re the smart ones.

So yes, I’m sure God is looking down on all of us from his cloud throne and clapping wildly and cheering on this congregation. Only he’s clapping to cue the next flood to wipe this shit out because human beings are garbage and treat each other horribly and he needs to start over. (You know that’s what would happen, if I didn’t believe in evolution.)

+8 |
May 31, 2012 on “Ain’t No Homos Gonna Make It To Heaven”

I’d like those last few moments of my life back. Good golly that was a painful read. That boy CANNOT write.

+4 |
May 30, 2012 on James Franco Breaks His Legendary Silence On HBO’s Girls

Just found who won’t be inventing the next cure for cancer. Because his mom would clearly make fun of him for playing with a beaker and graduated cylinder. Or he’d get his hand stuck in the cylinder. It’s a toss up.

+2 |
May 24, 2012 on “Little Boy Falls In Laundry Hamper” Mom Bears Eerie Resemblance To “More Sand” Mom

Completely amazing. How sad is it that after listening to him, I immediately wondered what adult in the medical community is going to fuck this up because it is TOO cheap and TOO good, and well, the CEOs at big pharma can’t have that now, now can they.

Sigh.

But anyway, awesome job kid! You are truly the best.

+4 |
May 24, 2012 on Even Geniuses Are 15 At Some Point

Screw all of this.. JUST BRING BACK THE SHOW. I hear Hulu is hiring for shows.

+2 |
May 3, 2012 on Friday Night Lights Movie Kind Of Confirmed! Again!

Sooooo….is no one else worried about the homophobism (it is sort of a word…) of Wheat Thins? Why would they hire him to schlep their product?

+1 |
April 26, 2012 on The Videogum Tracy Morgan Promise: Tracy Morgan’s Gerbil Wheat Thins Commercial

Totally true: a third grader stole a penguin from our zoo on a school field trip. Put the little guy in his backpack, got on the school bus, went back to school, and went home. Mom opened the backpack and saw the stunned penguin and immediately called the zoo. The zookeeper she talked to said to put the penguin in the freezer and they’d be over in an hour to pick him up.

SHOULDA PUT THE LITTLE GUY IN THE FREEZER. That would have been the perfect crime.

+4 |
April 23, 2012 on The Perfect (Not Perfect) Crime: Stealing A Penguin From Sea World

Pat Robertson has had his one required “smart moment” of his lifetime when he said that marijuana should be legalized and the war against marijuana just hurts poor, black kids and unnecessarily clogs up the jail and judicial system with sentences that are not equal to the crime. That was easily the sanest thing I’ve ever heard out of him. So he’s done. We can’t expect two epiphanies in one lifetime from him because well, he is freaking crazy.

+10 |
April 18, 2012 on Pat Robertson Rests His Case About Global Warming

I’d feel better if I was Batman instead of Ironman.

+Array |
April 17, 2012 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Sad Robert Downey Jr.

I say Mike Tomlin for ANYTHING Omar Epps is in. (He is still in stuff now that House is over, right?) (Very good use of the word “stuff” as well.)

*This would be much more compelling if I knew how to embed a picture. Ughff.

+3 |
March 28, 2012 on Who Should Be Our Generation’s Darrin Stephens?

I agree. I upvoted you because when I read that I thought – “controlling bitch.” And immediately felt bad for the guy; he obviously has not put the pieces together to figure out what his life is about to be like.

+2 |
March 28, 2012 on Normal Couple Has Normal Twilight Wedding/Life

I got married on the beach and my parents hated it. I should show them this to make them feel better. And God help me, I looked through the slideshow. Weird. Just weird. The picture of her next to a bed that resembled the honeymoon bed is creepy.

+1 |
March 28, 2012 on Normal Couple Has Normal Twilight Wedding/Life

That. And because there are literally MILLIONS OF IDIOTS that watch her show/buy her crap/read the magazines that write about her. To me, the people that “patron” her “business” are bigger idiots than she is.

+5 |
March 14, 2012 on A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: The Jon Hamm And Kim Kardashian Celebrity Feud

How in the Hell is Santorum still in this…let alone WINNING states? WTF? I truly don’t understand. There is not one ounce of me that understands how he can think the way he does AND has supporters of that very fucked up thought process. Ugh, I’m going to go stick hot sticks in my eyes while I wish for a world where The Rock is a presidential candidate.

+5 |
February 8, 2012 on The Rock Will Be President Someday, Says The Rock

The Rock/Marky Mark ticket will be a total winner. I’m making buttons now.

+Array |
February 8, 2012 on The Rock Will Be President Someday, Says The Rock

Woah, woah, woah. You mean to tell me that the prank isn’t his entire “acting” career? Bull!

+5 |
February 1, 2012 on Channing Tatum Tries To Prank Run With The Big Prank Dogs

I did not see this before I posted it in the Christian Bale fight post…

+1 |
January 20, 2012 on Duh Aficionado Magazine: Ricky Gervais Dresses Up As Hitler For No Apparent Reason