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+57 |
October 27, 2011 on Ken Jennings Is The 99%?
We need to talk about how I live in Pittsburgh but you killed your twitter account.
+2 |
June 2, 2011 on The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review
It's not you, it's me.
+17 |
June 2, 2011 on The Videogum 6-Month Performance Review
When this movie came out, I fit Gabe's demographic to a T and I loved this movie. Then I grew up. Now I look back at my fondness for this movie with only shame and regret. Lovers of (500) Days of Summer will feel the same way when they re-watch it in 5 or 10 years.
+82 |
March 21, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State
Dear huckabeast, Please stop killing it (never stop killing it).
+10 |
October 1, 2010 on The Porno Switcheroo Archives: Breakfast Cereal Sex Line
Keep those Fruity Pebbles away from me.
+5 |
October 1, 2010 on The Porno Switcheroo Archives: Breakfast Cereal Sex Line
I can only imagine the INSANE phone calls retirees bombarded Congressional offices with.... "Good morning, Congressman/Senator _____'s office." "STOP THESE GOD DAMNED COMMERCIALS FROM BEING SO LOUD!" "I'm sorry sir, I can't understand you, could you speak a little softer please?" "I AM NOT A MAN, I AM AN 85 YEAR OLD WOMAN. I'VE RAISED 6 CHILDREN SUPPORTED WHILE THAT BASTARD DRANK AND GAMBLED ALL OUR MONEY AWAY!" *muffled shouts from background* "SHUT UP FRANK, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'LL SWEAR I'LL SMOTHER YOU WITH THAT PILLOW." "I am SO sorry ma'am. I'm happy to hear you have such a lovely family but I really need to ask you to lower your volume." "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU WORK FOR ME!!! MY TAXES PAY YOUR SALARY SO YOU LISTEN TO ME! i WAS READIN' ON THAT INTERNET ABOUT WHAT YOU WASHINGTON HOT SHOTS ARE UP TO AND I DON'T LIKE IT! SO YOU FIX THESE DAMNED COMMERCIALS OR YOU'LL BE LOOKIN' FER A JOB IN NOVEMBER!!!!" *click* "You have a pleasant day too, you old bitch." *goes back to reading Videogum* #FormerHillEmployeeGum
+2 |
October 1, 2010 on United States Congress Passes Historic Legislation!
http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/business/consuminginterests/blog/freekfcchicken.gif
+8 |
September 29, 2010 on How Is Danny McBride’s Sex Advice The Best Thing?
If you'll excuse me while I put on my bitter, vindictive hat... okay I'm glad these "retards" are going to get voted in. It is with a heavy heart that I will be moving out of DC this week (tomorrow through Sunday) and it gives me a modicum of joy to know I won't be around while this transition takes place. I'm not talking about politically, I'm talking about having to ride the train with the hoards of pleated khaki and blue blazered assholes conspicuously carrying a worn copy of Atlas Shrugged and all the ill-mannered, self-important pricks that will be coming to DC in these congressional staffs, non-governmental conservative groups, and Rand Paul's political appointments (if we actually make it to 2013). I may not be staring a new and better life right now but at least I know everyone in DC will be miserable. Have fun at dinner, Washington, D.C.!
+8 |
September 29, 2010 on North Carolina Republican Candidate Renee Elmers’s Campaign Sponsored By Brawndo
"North Carolina! C'mon and raise up Take your shirt off, twist it 'round yo head Spin it like a helicopter."
+33 |
September 29, 2010 on North Carolina Republican Candidate Renee Elmers’s Campaign Sponsored By Brawndo
My friend texted me during the show: "Name someone with a higher hotness to actual talent ratio." Any nominations?
+9 |
September 27, 2010 on Saturday Night Live: Amy Poehler And Katy Perry
His dad is just beaming with pride: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_K3TV01Tpz0Y/S6q64RIFXRI/AAAAAAAABgE/mO5IwHQc5YQ/s1600/mr_peanut.jpg
+32 |
September 24, 2010 on The First Autumn Jam Of 2010: Lil P-Nut’s “You Might Be The One”
When you watch Undercovers, your body makes a promise whether you do or not. ( Vanilla Sky jokes!)
+20 |
September 23, 2010 on Well, Undercovers Is Fucking Terrible
Sad Keanu shows appreciation for all of werttrew's hard work and dedication.
+33 |
September 23, 2010 on Sad Keanu Eats A Cupcake
Sad Keanu speaks with your Christian God.
+5 |
September 23, 2010 on Sad Keanu Eats A Cupcake
Sad Keanu visits the Vietnam War. (Too soon? Too bad.)
0 |
September 23, 2010 on Sad Keanu Eats A Cupcake
I pretty much agree with every word you've written here. Except maybe "cog" in the next to last full paragraph. That's bullshit, Gabe.
+26 |
September 22, 2010 on Running Wilde Is A New TV Show
Forget The Hunt, I want to hear Steve Winwood's review of that first Bing! link. "Pretty" or "NOOOOOOOO!"?
+7 |
September 20, 2010 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie: Next Round Announcements
"I think Katy Perry is a very talented and thoughtful young lady." - You
+17 |
September 20, 2010 on Katy Perry Is Just VERY Good At Talking Like A Normal, Reasonably Intelligent Human Being
That dude must buy his khakis at the same store Larry David does b/c there was some unfortunate bunching going on there.
+14 |
September 20, 2010 on Dad Ruins Justin Bieber Video Just Like Dad Ruins Everything
No, I changed it after the end. Joke is on her though, look how much cuter I got: http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs320.ash2/60026_768174954177_10603632_43011273_5494265_n.jpg
+34 |
September 17, 2010 on Casey Affleck Admits Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary Was Fake: Duh Aficionado Magazine EXCLUSIVE
For the past year plus my Facebook photo has been Joaquin Phoenix with a bunch of Miss America contestants. Now, I loathe Facebook so I purposefully had an asinine profile picture as my pathetic way of saying "fuck you" to anyone who dare look at my almost never updated profile. Every once in a while, usually when uploading photos, my girlfriend of 4 years would get cross with me over my refusal to change that terrible picture. Two or three days ago I finally changed that picture to one of my mom's St. Bernard. I also changed my relationship status to single. Knowing it was all fake really makes me upset. It's as if the last four years was just a big lie. #Bummergum http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2091/247/117/10603632/n10603632_37522364_8610.jpg
+41 |
September 17, 2010 on Casey Affleck Admits Joaquin Phoenix Mockumentary Was Fake: Duh Aficionado Magazine EXCLUSIVE
Normally, I would be all over this but I got a 50 megughton sadtom bomb dropped on my heart and will be moving out of DC at the end of the month.
+11 |
September 17, 2010 on Stephen Colbert And Jon Stewart Announce A Parody Event
It is so good. http://www.citysackers.com/images/yoplait%20original%20french%20vanilla.jpg
+16 |
September 16, 2010 on You Can Make It Up: Christine O’Donnell And Mel Gibson Meet On SaladMatch.com