youfuckedjeff

Comments from youfuckedjeff

is Val Kilmer still fat?
+4 |
August 18, 2011 on Child Actors Are Not People!
this all just reminds me of those awful people that say stuff like "we're their teachers, but we're the ones learning" like, shut the fuck up. they are babies! babies are stupid!
+5 |
August 18, 2011 on Child Actors Are Not People!
I think it's probably not the best marketing strategy to suggest that something that tastes as weird as Miracle Whip (I'M GUESSING) could in fact be made of people.
+2 |
August 16, 2011 on Lauren Conrad Is A Goddamned Liar!
was I the only one expecting it to be Gabe? is that not what this website is for?
+6 |
August 2, 2011 on Gold Surprise
was she born in a hookah bar? and then forced to live in that hookah bar for 16 years? is that why the video is so dark?
+25 |
June 21, 2011 on Courtney Stodden Would Like You To Like Quit Like Bullying Like People
"BRB I see a fence that hasn't been driven into yet! sorry, what were you saying?"
+6 |
June 21, 2011 on Courtney Stodden Would Like You To Like Quit Like Bullying Like People
so do we blame this on factory farm meat hormones or progeria? because I am 28 and going grey and she looks at least like my big sister?
+37 |
June 21, 2011 on Courtney Stodden Would Like You To Like Quit Like Bullying Like People
Sauce for the goose, Mr. Saavik. Did you have to inject it directly into your carotid artery immediately before we were scheduled to go on?* *now accepting nominations for a bad Star Trek reference lifetime achievement award.
+2 |
April 5, 2011 on The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Kirstie Alley Falling On Dancing With The Stars
I lived in a glorified basement apartment in Boston for two years that flooded every time it rained. over the course of my occupancy, it gradually went from "this is a catastrophe! call the management company immediately!" to "just don't put anything on that side of the apartment" to "put stuff over there, but only if it isn't worth a lot of money". and even I realize this lady is BONKERZ. why do I always get the crazy girls?
+3 |
April 4, 2011 on That’s Your Girlfriend: Felice Cohen
Don't Be a Sea Lion to Otter Central While Cracking Your Clams in the Hood
+8 |
March 30, 2011 on Best New Party Game 49: #ottermovies
"ach du libre! you just killed das baby!"* "no it's cool, it was Hitler." "you are under arrest." *flawless accent
0 |
March 29, 2011 on Ina Garten Begrudgingly Does Respectable Thing
when asked for comment, Ray unhinged her jaw and swallowed a frozen rat whole.
+4 |
March 29, 2011 on Ina Garten Begrudgingly Does Respectable Thing
and for totes serious fuck this movie for doing the DRUG SCENE and having him take a drug that would have the opposite effect. Z-Raff took ecstasy and sat on the couch all night! where's the nipple play? the glow stick competitions? the bisexual meanderings? THIS MOVIE IS SO FAKE IT MAKES ME SICK.
+31 |
March 21, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: Garden State
you sir, are DIVISIVE. I for one loved your guest blogging. I love Gabe (sexually) but if he has to take time off for massive amounts of elective surgery I'm glad we are getting people with a different flavor for the job. isn't the writing being something other than someone going DING DONG with a different avatar kind of the point of having a guest blogger? and while it goes without saying that I don't know how someone who has their dander up over the "liberal agenda" of this site (hruh?) hangs around reading it for at least two weeks at a time, well, I don't fucking understand it. I wish I had that much free time? someone please pay me to read websites I am predisposed to disagree with all day, full dental and 401k preferred.
+36 |
March 14, 2011 on What is the HTML for “Vomit”?: A Review of Battle: Los Angeles
I just found out my friend is moving to NYC next month! and I might go stay with her! so I might go to this! possibly! I'm so excited!
+4 |
March 10, 2011 on The Videogum 3rd-Anniversary Comedy Show And Party, Thursday, April 7th, Is Going To Be THE BEST!
my bucket list consists of "firing a gun wildly into the air" "eating a scone" and sexually harassing a number of male celebrities. also having the coolest story. whoops I'm dead. Will Ferrell accountant, gratuitous rape scene, magic ham radio for nominations, in that order.
+2 |
March 8, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: The Bucket List
does your garden variety christian (who they people aren't? I hope? my parents usually spend their weekends watching NCIS reruns) know that muslims worship the same god they do? I don't mean that they're both practicing the same outdated ritual, but they are literally worshipping the SAME GUY. the religions just disagree on which prophet has a bigger dick and which men wearing dresses get to make the laws and whether slavery is totally cool or only sort of cool. KINDA SEEMS LIKE THEY DON'T.
+1 |
March 4, 2011 on Well, This Is A Particularly Hateful Tea Party Rally
I saw your mommy and your mommy's.... racist.
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March 4, 2011 on Well, This Is A Particularly Hateful Tea Party Rally
a few years ago J went to India and met some sort of spiritual guru whatever and had some sort of awakening. I'm pretty sure that has something to do with why he's so mellow now (and no longer tries to kill Barlow on stage). or maybe it's because he is now my grampaw.
+1 |
February 22, 2011 on This Is Just A Good Interview With J. Mascis
"the real fans still call them Dinosaur." this is an actual thing that I swear to God was said to me.
+3 |
February 22, 2011 on This Is Just A Good Interview With J. Mascis
as per usual, me nominate Stranger than Fiction and Irreversible. the former is just the worst, and the second is also the worst but in a much more powerful way that I will not bother going into elaboration on since I have in the past. I also plan on nominating (STAY TOONED FOR REAL) some movie with Randy Quaids brother and 40 Days and 40 Nights boring guy where they're father and son communication from beyond the grave via CB radio or something. I watched it on HBO once and it was stunning in it's insatiable appetite for being the craziest thing ever, but yeah, I forget the name. "great story, would read again" -that editor at Yankee magazine that stopped replying to me a few months ago.
+1 |
February 22, 2011 on The Hunt For The Worst Movie Of All Time: I’m Still Here
I'm glad Anne Heche could finally get her Julianne Moore transfusion. thanx Obama!
+1 |
February 16, 2011 on Cedar Rapids: A Comedy For Everyone (?)