Comments

What is wrong with that waitress? She is WAY TOO CALM. I have worked that kind of menial job before and I would have lost my mind if someone handed me $500 and didn't immediately threaten to take it away or demand unsavory favors. But no, this girl just nods and says "Oh my goooooood," really slowly and in a low voice. Where is the shrieking and the tears? She disappoints me.

I have a lot of problems with the Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter movie, but I am sad to admit that I actually shouted "WHAT" at the trailer when it showed the National Mall in DC. The Washington Monument wasn't completed during Lincoln's lifetime, but they have it in the trailer. What is wrong with my life that I am more upset about THAT egregious anachronism than the mere existence of this film? I have bad priorities. Help me.

Strangely, about 75% of Missouri hair salons are like this. Some mix in a bit more 1990s big bangs, rat tails, and mullets, but overall this commercial doesn't surprise me in the least. The make-up. The awkward sexuality. The aggressive hair that nobody would EVER come in and request. Yup. Everywhere in Missouri.

I know, right?! I used to like Dale until he saved Andrea. There may be a connection there but I refuse to contemplate it.

The swamp, I guess. Or maybe the fact that it has a magical endless supply of ammunition, electricity, fuel, food, water, and supplies.

The only problem with that theory (which I think is correct, by the way) is that it means Shane is the only sane one. Are we okay with that? I might actually be ok with that. Is that wrong?

And now I ask the question we are all dying to ask: What kind of Honda do you drive?

Oh my god YES. His gross labored breathing sounds made me feel sort of sick.

We get new writers?! I am so excited! You just gave me hope. Thank you. Bless you.

My favorite part of gun club is how everybody is insanely good at gun club on the first try and then everybody gets to have sex in a Honda afterwards.

OMG yes, Hershel is on my last nerve. And here is something I want to know (although maybe my beef is with the lazy, unimaginative writers of this show who think idiotic cliche-ridden dialogue = dramatic action) but WHY GOD WHY didn't Rick's people sit down with Hershel's people and talk about what they saw at the CDC? That was one of my favorite episodes last season because it actually moved the mythology of this world forward by showing the MRI of the Doctor's wife becoming a zombie. Dale saw that video. Why did he just stare at Hershel with his bearded mouth hanging open instead of saying, "Actually Hershel, these people are dead and their bodies are artificially reanimated by a disease firing false electrical impulses in their brain stems and I know this for a fact because I saw the proof with my own eyes." WHY. I am so done with the writers of this show. I don't need them to write Shakespeare but could they at least be entertaining, clever, and consistent rather than boring and infuriating?

All I know is they better get off our lawns or I'm going to smack them with my cane. Who's with me?

You know what, guys? We have been talking about Brokencyde for what feels like decades now and I still honestly cannot understand a word they say in these videos. Am I getting old? Do I have old person ears? Or is everything just terrible and it isn't my fault? Help.

But what you like most about it is how angry it makes your Mom's "friend" Greg, that dick. *ahem* What were we talking about?

And the way they keep beating Al Pacino's career like a dead horse. That's how the saying goes, right? I don't know. I just keep picturing dead things after reading this film review.

I don't even care about the plot or the garbage characters anymore. I just watch to see if Shane will take his shirt off. I'm not ashamed of myself at all, no sir.

Guys, I listen to conservative talk radio at work to keep myself awake (rage works better than caffeine) and I can say in all sincerity that there are MANY people who still whole-heartedly support Herman Cain. Yes, it is baffling but no it isn't a surprise to me because these people are so vocal on the radio (haha! who listens to radio anymore?). I guess my point is that these people also like Jack and Jill.

Superglue, that is my biggest problem with it. Most expensive pudding? Try grossest looking pudding that was made by mashing chocolate around with your bare (unclean?) hands.

I think it works as a stand-alone...kind of a warning about this entire comment string, perhaps.

I'm a member of Shygum too, saraspot. Very quiet high fives for us! I read everything on this site every single day and I only comment once every six months. At least it's satisfying to watch everybody else being smart and sassy.