I signed in this morning to my Juno account and FINALLY finished loading this page. Why are you all talking about very relevant things right now? Fanny pack.
So I clicked on the video, expecting to see me some Amy Sedaris when I was literally four minutes into a 14 minute clip of this dude named 'Boner' talking about politics before I realized it was NOT Amy Sedaris OR daytime talk show. FOUR MINUTES.
http://goodietwosleeves.com/internet/waaa.png
That's your Amy Sedaris clip.
I asked,
"Does you hair taste like carrots?"
and
"We used to work with NBC Store to make spic shirts for your shows. Do you like spic shirts? If so, can we make epic shirts for your new show? If NOT can we have a lock of your hair to clone you and make your clone our maid? (Little side project)"
I'm so weird.
Thanks to Birdie, Gabe has connected with nature and has unleashed his inner wild-man.
http://goodietwosleeves.com/internet/gabed.jpg
This also just happened to be something the internet generated that I found this morning, so it's like the matrix is trying to tell us something (ring all the phones?)
Perhaps he didn't drop his phone and he just PASSED his phone, in which case it would explain all the heavy metal poisoning in sushi restaurants and also being a jerk (arguably). STOP EATING PHONES, (ALLEGED) JERK.
"Mother, You Left a Woman in Poor Health Conditions in a Position of Authority Over Us, Your Children, and She Has Died and In Order To Celebrate Our New Found Freedom We Will Get Professional Jobs Under False Pretenses And Destroy Your House."
"Purr-fect" - My cat.
I know you don't particularly care what some anonymous stranger/lurker on the internet thinks, but you're comments are reliably funny. She will indeed need a bigger boat, Steve.
To continue the joke that he is also AGELESS, I present you, Internet, with this:
http://goodietwosleeves.com/internet/sadkeanu01.jpg
Consume it however you always do.
I wrote my own lyrics to his rap:
"Hello, my name is Gabe! I like tacos! Also sometimes burritos! My dad is as tall as a six-foot-two-inch tree! I like to play some sports! Sometimes when I'm at home I pretend things! Things about jobs in rapping! Rap, rap, rap, rap, rap! Telephone, picket fence, rain drops, scooter!"
I did that right, right?
I almost made it in this week with this gem, but I digress. This image will soon begin to embed itself in internet WITHOUT Monster's Ball's help, of this we can be sure.
http://goodietwosleeves.com/internet/ninja03.jpg
ChrisGabe.