i never realized how badly i need more voyage of the mimi references in my life. that shit is where i learned about phantom pains! remember that girl and her amputated leg?? and then in 6th grade the mimi came and docked in my town and all us girls were going BUCKWILD trying to sit on ben affleck's bunk. (which is sexy, nautical slang for "bed").
i am a brunette lady (FELLAS) whose father taught her to judge people based on their handshake. consequently my handshakes do NOT fuck around, and i often surprise men with my powerful, respect-demanding hand.
there is nothing worse than shaking hands with a man who gives you the little limp fish handshake because he thinks that women can't handle the power of a firm grip. go for it, men, we can take it.
i feel like i've been waiting my whole life to tell this tale. thanks so much for the outlet, kelly, you are a true jennifer lawrence.
when i was 9 i had a dream that i met sinbad in a park and we were on the jungle gym together and i took his picture because i knew that nobody would ever believe that i was hanging out with sinbad. and when i woke up in the morning i was SO depressed that it never happened and i had no photographic evidence of hanging out with sinbad, and i probably still haven't gotten over that disappointment, and i strongly believe it's shaped me into the person i am today. and i never told anybody about it, because, really, my subconscious? is sinbad the BEST you could drum up?? especially at the height of hanson-mania?? come on.
I work for the symphony in vermont and i have to admit i really kind of love it when somebody shows up in flannel, jeans, and boots (and, this being vermont, that happens frequently.) usually everybody is dressed pretty upscale to our concerts, but it's the best when there's some lady all decked out in her fanciest diamonds and her floor length mink, sitting right next to some guy who looks and smells like he literally just climbed off his tractor. WE'RE ALL JUST PEOPLE TRYING TO GET ALONG IN THIS CRAZY WORLD, AND ALSO MAYBE LISTEN TO SOME ELGAR AFTER A LONG DAY OF PLOWING WHEAT or whatever.
as a fellow burlingtonion/worker-bee on church street, i am sooooo curious to know the identity of the troll of whom you speak. a description is required immediately, please.
I am currently having my own neighbor feud (they have so much loud sex, all of the sex, all of the noises, all of the time), and this morning my weapon of choice was playing the original soundtrack to Annie (pro tip: all of the songs can be easily found on YouTube or Spotify) at top volume through the wall. Nothing will temper boundless sexual energy like the shrill singing voices of children, and I'm assuming this will also work on weeknight parties. Go forth and conquer!
My heroic efforts to mobilize my co-workers to go home early (in the face of the blue skies and calm winds that Vermont is currently experiencing) failed. I will be going home at 5:00, as usual. Pray for me.
are you in the burlington area? we probably won't be hit until after 4 or 5, but i'm spreading misinformation around the office in an effort to go home an hour early. that would be the sweetest triumph of all. i'll keep you updated.
i was wondering that, myself! i almost googled "sidney applebaum" to see if it could've been a reference to anything else, but i didn't care enough. but i DID care enough to post this meaningless comment, so who even knows anymore. mondays, am i right?
who on earth is your landlord? i've had a few during my time here in burlington, and none of them every made me ice cream. one of the pervier ones used to just come in our house unannounced to "check the windows" during summer months, but that's not even remotely close to bacon and whiskey. what's your secret???? #vermonstersunite!
high-five for anti-social eaters!
there is no better dining experience than sitting solo in a mexican restaurant eating tacos and drinking beer while reading your way through the "song of ice and fire" series. "Salsa is Coming," amiright?
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