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Actually, I was quoting Emperor Palpatine, but I will gladly give Bill Hicks all of the props ever.
After a while though, you would get tired of hearing dipshits say things like, "That's what my voice sounds like? Fuck." and "Why the fuck did I get these tattoos?".
Oh, so she could hear her mom crying when she saw what her daughter did to her precious, perfect skin.
Seriously? THREE GIFs? Because I pointed out that, unless this woman is Terminal White Trash, she will someday regret fucking her skin up like that? Jesus Christ With Signs Following... You folks need a nap.
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills when I read stuff like this.
Also, you know I love you guys, right? Seriously. Monsters are the best.
Yes, that's it. Feel the hate. And also, Feel the hat.
Just for the record: 1. My very own GIF? SQUEEEEE!!!! 2. I am super happy for this woman. and 3. Thinking intelligent people ALWAYS regret fucking up their skin with stupid bullshit in their 20's.
Yes. Unleash your anger, your fear, that sensation that gnaws at the back of you mind that keeps you up at night thinking, "I hope I die soon, I don't want to have to explain what the fuck that shit on my (bicep, lower back, rib-cage, hand, leg, face, ass, wrist, ankle, foot, pubic area, where the fuck ever) to my grandchildren and/or robot maid.
She will at some point look at her boyfriend and say, " THIS? THIS is what you've been listening to? Ah, fuck. Look at My Fucking Arm! Fuck you! At least I didn't get that fucking Papa Roach Tat you were pushing for! Ah, Fuck my life. I'm outa here."
my sick mind expected her to look at that mashed up fuck blob of an arm and be all like,"What the fuck is this?!!!" Then I realized that she was deaf and not blind.
Watching people cry tears of happiness always gets me.
I know, that is some beautiful ink on her arm. Too bad it's going to cost her more to get that crap removed than it did to restore her hearing...
I've decided to stop being so negative all the time here because this is still one of my favorite websites and really, Kelly is, i'm sure, doing her very best. so... None of these movies look that bad to me. As in, I wouldn't bitch too loudly if my wife wanted me to go see any of them with her(though I would be shocked beyond reason if she told me she wanted to watch a movie about The Swell Season). Also, none of these movies are sequels or "Gritty Reboots", so that's something. Hey, did anybody else think Cathy Heigel was Ashley Judd until they saw her name come up? No? Just me then.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Bond_(character)
Orbis Non Sufficit? More like "Baltimore Non Sufficit", ammiright? Ah, nerd stuff.
Dang Kelly, you made it through all of Monday without a single "I don't know what this is, but if you do that's fine. Wierdo." style article. At least I think you did, I don't know for sure. Once I realized that Gabe was home sick from school I lost interest. I don't know, maybe it's just me. Well, you didn't name check Ryan Gosling, so... Way to change it up, I guess?
"I don’t know what Pride And Prejudice And Zombies is." -Kelly "Lol CLASSIC Kelly!" -Monsters
Oh, so you live in Central FL? I used to and I have to say, I'm not sure that the people booing the gay soldier weren't in fact gay themselves and just booing what he was wearing or his poor choice of career. (What I'm trying to say is that Orlando is so gay friendly that I was kind of surprised that anybody in that town, even Republicans, could be so rude. Seriously, I half expected to hear somebody else shout "Oh, be nice!" during Santorum's response.
See, I assumed it was Gabe too. Mainly though because at no point in the article did Kelly profess or display ignorance of the subject matter. i.e. "Apparently there is a job called President of the United States? And people think that the guy who has it now isn't very good at it? So some people who want his job have to have these things called debates? And the winner of the debates has to fist fight the guy who has the job now? Or something?"
Yeah, I was logging just to say "Who the fuck cares they're just going to call it "In the Dogg House" and also: seriously, who the fuck cares?"
"Anarchism" lol. There is nothing worse than a pretentious Anarchismist. Ammiright?
Man, I have felt this way for years. Somalia has got to be the logical end state of not just Libertarianism but Right Wing Republicanism as well. Seriously, any dipshit that honestly thinks that the smaller a government is the better off the people are can go live in fucking Mogadishu.
That is how i feel exactly. Are we being trolled? This whole thing just feels too 'perfect'.
Once again, are we absolutely sure that this isn't some elaborate troll?
Also, it is hard to overestimate how incredibly horrifying it is to lose your freedom. Even if it's for 30 days, it fucking suuuuuuuuuuuucks. I would rather face death by screwdriver than life in prison.
Yeah, if your argument is "two thousand years ago some bronze age screw heads hated on fags then you know Im right" then you should "rest your case"? Am I doing this right, monsters?
Just imagine how shamed the entire state of PA was during this scumbags tenure? Honestly, the guy was voted in because of general dissatisfaction with his predecessor? He, like most repubs, ran on a fiscal responsibility ticket and once elected started saying things like, "homosexuality is the same as dog-fucking"? He lasted one term and now he is running for president? Honestly, you can see how bad the 15 yr olds want to jump in and tear down his argument?
declarative statement is the worst and also, question mark?
hahaha. (and also, no)?
Yes. If only all artists (I know, I know) would "one and done".
I agree. I have had a love/hate relationship with Ksmith since Clerks, yeah the guy can be a dumbass, but he can also make me piss my jorts laughing. He can be extremely divisive, even among his "fans" and that is one of the things that I like about the jerk.
no. Jesus dude, don't you know? Just keep yer head down and make bleating noises. Also, end declarative sentences with question marks? (Also, just keep telling yerself, "At least this isnt the AVclub, at least this isnt the AVclub". Thats what I do.)
bullshit. take the byline away and i cant tell if im reading thesuperficial or videogum or eatthepress. at least k.smith has a distinct "voice" and I might add, one that i have been able to recognize (for good or ill) for almost 20 yrs now.
Signed in to upvote this. Like Sean, it took me a second. Then I LOLed.
I thought the exact same thing. actually what i thought is, "now some homeless looking korean guy stuffs the whole thing in his mouth and..."