If any of you had dug into the 9/11 Conspiracy far enough, you would know that Paltrow was piloting both planes with a remote control from the comfort of her Mercedes SUV. Had she hit the jaywalking woman, the planes would have likely crashed into the ocean, saving thousands.
She had her motive...it all lead to this:
http://blogs.babble.com/famecrawler/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/gwyneth-300x257.jpg
The other two planes were being flown by terrorists trying to stop Paltrow.
They obviously failed miserably.
If only PETA knew the truth about "CGI apes."
It takes six live apes to create a single digital ape.
The process involves a buzzsaw and a large format scanner.
First we take one fun loving mariachi band:
http://www.ventanawines.com/assets/client/Image/Mariachi.jpg
Then we add one music loving Beluga whale:
http://s2.hubimg.com/u/238065_f260.jpg
We arrive at:
http://samingersoll.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/enlightenment.jpg
I once saw this in a math book a long time ago and now it all makes sense.
Clooney should unexpectedly shoot his co-stars in the crotch with a high pressure super soaker in the middle of a scene.
It's everyone's favorite wet pants gag.
http://i55.tinypic.com/5fg2tk.jpg
This is clearly the newest awareness raising video by the Norwegian League of Quality Housewives.
Crappy housewifery is growing into a serious worldwide epidemic.
Comments