Comments

Perfect nod from the other woman right at 0:43. "Right, create jobs. Absolutely."

Does this mean I have to be happy about something Seth MacFarlane is doing? FREAKING OUT HERE.

This would actually be LESS depressing if she had tried to insert some crappy iMovie plugin cgi to make it look real.

Zach Braff's kickstarter is already reaping dividends, I see.

This is actually one of the deleted scenes from "Inland Empire," isn't it?

I believe that canonically, Superman shaves by shooting precise little heat vision beams into a mirror made from a scavenged bit of metal from his kryptonian space ship. Now I kind of think that's awesome, kind of wish I were making it up, and kind of wish I didn't know the answer, all at the same time.

"You'd think it had been made by a first-rate chef, but really all we did was shake the living crap out of the chicken."

Furthermore, if the ball pits in IKEA are any indication, get ready for an incapacitating stomach virus pretty much every day for the rest of your life once you build this in your home.

The "how to" aspect of this video seems a bit presumptuous. Was anyone really unclear on the two main steps? 1. Make an enclosure. 2. Fill it with balls.

How long do you have to listen before you manage to make yourself hear, "I-Mart Eastouffer" consistently? For me it was about a minute 15.

I never took these guys too seriously before, but now I see they're right -- everything really IS terrible.

Herbaria: it's made of your nightmares.

Mr. Cohan needs to have a talk with the guy who stands in the corner of his pub all day holding the CCTV camera. That guy's camerawork is all over the place.

FINALLY, a video where the first and most honest thought that pops into my head is not "Needs more twerking."

26 seconds is exactly how far I got.

"AS THE TERM APPLIES TODAY."

WHAT DID I TELL YOU

So the long version is that I took that old pic of the kid lunging at Megan Fox with a rose in his hand, and I photoshopped Jack Nicholson's "heeeeere's Johnny" face onto the kid, and it's a pretty good photoshop job if I do say so, I mean I'm not bragging, it probably wouldn't fool Jack Nicholson's wife, but it might fool Megan Fox. And then so the punchline: "Heeeeeeere's a flower!" And you imagine Jack Nicholson saying it in his Jack Nicholson voice, and basically you'll all have to trust me on this but it would have been REALLY funny, and everyone would have upvoted me, and some clever poster like facetaco or maybe FLW would have chimed in with a re-shopped version where both the kid AND Megan Fox had Jack Nicholson faces, and it turned into a kind of a meme, and everyone loved it, and I got Editor's Choice pick at the Monster's Ball.

There's some trick to this, isn't there? All those times I laughed as someone tried to post a picture on Videogum and it blew up in their faces, and people would say, "There's a trick to it!" And I never listened.