Goddammit dozens of zombie roombas staggering back and forth and back and forth on the roof for months and nobody ever stepped in one of the soft spots
Goddammit as they drove up to the building somehow they didn't see dozens of zombies staggering about up there
Goddammit the zombies couldn't see or smell the humans standing below them less than 20 feet away
Goddammit the zombies could hear a bunch of bottles breaking through an industrial roof but couldn't hear Darryl's chopper brap brap brapping away as he drove up to the place
Goddammit stupid nerd kid feeling deathly sick doesn't ask anybody for help
Goddammit season 4 here we go again
AMAZING THINGS!
In the bowels of the empty cement factory as SPUNKY JOURNALIST LADY tails Junior her footsteps somehow make no sound whatsoever THIRTY FEET BEHIND HIM!
Well THANK GOODNESS she has a BOX OF MATCHES so she and Junior can use their combined brain power to LIGHT THEM INDIVIDUALLY instead of trying to find things to MAKE A FECKING TORCH WITH then when they come out she says COME ON I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME but they WALKED TO THE CEMENT FACTORY so they have to walk ANYWAYS!
And it's so AMAZING that the crazy cop can WALK RIGHT UP TO THEM IN THE QUIET, CRUNCHY FLOORED FOREST without making a sound!
If I were inside the dome, I would go to the first town hall meeting and not ask any questions at all about wtf was happening
If I were the sheriff I would totally say hey let's all go home to bed and check on our neighbours and for sure not say FUCK EVERYBODY LET'S TRY TO FIND A WAY OUT RIGHT NOW
If I were a journalist outside the dome I would be a really stupid one and yell and yell and yell at the person inside the dome and not figure out she couldn't hear me in the 1 second it would take a person not as stupid as me
Most hilarious of all: the Church of the Most Precious Videogum Commenters is exactly no more or less credible than snake oil outfits like, say, the Seventh Day Adventists!
So what you're saying is Wells dusted off his rejected McSweeny's intern submission from 1999, peppered it with some Guy Fieri, and hoped nobody would notice.
Hey Herschel and your family who have lived on this homestead for 250 years you aren't aware that there's an enormous PRISON about 15 minutes away from your farm?
Really?
No, really?
OMG A TWIG SNAPPED
Let's keep talking out loud making noise instead of poking our heads out to see what it is or taking any kind of preparatory action - arming ourselves, guarding the exits, etc.
IDIOTS.
OMG WE'RE OUT OF GAS
Let's not get into the other vehicles and go find somewhere safe to spend the night and come back for the empty gas vehicle tomorrow sometime. Yeah, we realize we're going to have to leave it here anyways when we go get gas, but it's much more stupid to stay here all night in the open, so let's do that.
I AM GOING TO TALK TO YOUR BACK AND YOU ARE GOING TO TALK TO THE AIR IN FRONT OF YOU
Yes, when I have a conversation I like to stand directly behind you. Makes it so much harder to hear but I like that. Yeah, well I'm going to stand in front of you and look straight ahead and keep talking. I don't even know if you're still back there but I'm just going to keep talking.
Here's my plan for our one shot to light this barn on fire: drop the lit lighter. No, don't light some f*cking hay and then drop that. Drop the lit lighter that could shut when it hits the ground. Yeah, that's a much better idea.
Hey the zombies are coming - why not send one vehicle out beeping and making noise since now apparently zombies will instantly walk toward loud sounds? But nooo, let's all waste bullets shooting at the mob of walkers. How come all the walkers weren't chasing the cars and the gunfire? Why did they spread out? Don't they know their own f*cking rules about noise?
Just realized Shane stabbed a zombie in the head in the last episode, getting zombie blood all over the knife. 3 minutes later he uses the same knife to cut open his hand to get bait blood. Shane you done infected yourself sir.
And if captured guy really knew Maggie from high school, then he would know where the f she lived and there was no need to blindfold him for the drive back to the farm. When they did arrive why didn't she say hey yeah this guy went to my high school? Or why didn't the guy say hey! Maggie! It's me! And then rhyme of a bunch of teachers' names so he could prove who he was, and then aKKKKkkk THIS F*CKING SHOW IS SO STUPIDDDDddd
Just by moonlight, Dale can see a cow corpse 20 feet ahead of him in grass that's taller than the cow but he can't see a zombie walking toward him?
How come the zombie is silent? The nanosecond he saw Carl he lost his sh*t and went ARHHHHHHh ARHHHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHG
But stumbling through the field he sees/smells Dale but says/grunts nothing? DAMMITALL
Hey Darryl so you finished punching that guy a lot and so now you're finished don't you want to wipe his blood off your hands? No? You want to walk all the way back to the camp and have a conversation with super bloody hands? Okay whatever you say, you goddamn squirrel eater.
Wait, so a hungry zombie is on top of Dale and tears at his flesh, but doesn't eat it the moment he gets a handful?
They just goddamn finished beating us over the goddamn head with "I'll smear a tiny bit of blood here and all the goddamn zombies will come lick it because they're all ravenously hungry they drop everything when they smell blood"
But noooo, this zombie that has been stuck in the mud for weeks just wants to fight Dale?
Dale's innards are now outards! You can scoop some up and eat it! WHY DON'T YOU EAT IT YOU GODDMAN ZOMBIE
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