Adam Brody's writing career in this movie gives me hope for all my dreams of having a fake career. 1) Writing porn scripts? Is a thing? All right! 2) Staring at a computer periodically and moaning about your high school novel you never explain and yet everyone thinks sounds interesting, on account of how your shitty high school experience must have been very different from everyone else's shitty one = success? 3) GINNIFER GOODWIN. I can do this too!
I'm kind of sorry I lobbied so long to get you to watch this, Gabe, but I know you'll bounce back eventually.
"It's like watching paint get kind of stressed out and argue with itself while it dries."
Classic. Also, I need to dwell a little more on man-Ash and his man-(unironic; dude is gay) love for Michael. UNCOMFORTABLE, and only made more so by Michael's grudgingly mortified thanks. You should develop that more, Bravo, though I know it's hard when you only have so much time to fill with Mike Isabella listing synonyms for "angry" in regard to Robin's existence.
What's amazing about this is that on the seminal A&E "staged reality" show The Two Coreys, Corey Feldman appeared to be the much more functional and less your boyfriend Corey of the two. And by amazing I mean ugh what.
Brave vs. gross is a pretty weird and irrelevant false dichotomy, since one can be cowardly and truthful or gross and truthful or a brave gross not-getter of things. Rape is not just not brave and very gross, it is an act that denies the victim's humanity and it is inexcusable. So yeah, I agree with tibmalian and Gabe and GOB Bluth.
Julie Klausner, you are the best recent Videogum expansion pack feature by far, and I mean that in a totally appreciative and not at all objectifying you in the manner of a video game way. This was awesome.
But to continue my reign of spelling terror: CourtEney Cox-Arquette, Jason SegEL. Es, people! Everywhere you don't want to put them, there need to be some Es!
Hey, did you know that T.R. Knight is GAY?! It's true! And totally relevant because of an offscreen scandal that happened three years ago! I feel wildly out of synch with my fellow monsters, but "lol gays/trannies/sluts" is far below what I expect from Videogum.
And not to go all Adjunct Professor of Shitty Vampire Media Studies from Sparkles R Us University on you, but it's Stephenie Meyer. (The E is for "The Worst!")
I used to sell flooring. Would I watch Martha's dogsitter picks out carpet? I would not. But I would watch it a lot more than Everybody Loves The Harsh Realities of Golf, so even in this, boringness is relative.
I think the hideous UNCANNY VALLEY aspect alone probably qualifies this movie as a frontrunner in the Hunt. Ugh, 'scuse me while I vomit the sky. (What?)
I used to be friends with somebody who went to the same fancy academy as Gwyneth (Spence, in NYC). I'm not sure if growing terrible human beings there is something they do on purpose or it's just luck, but I've always imagined it along the lines of Gossip Girl's Constance Billard, in which case there must be somebody actively trying for awfulness. Good job!
Having actually seen an in-person table read of the Futurama cast I am painfully aware of how much awesomer they are than Fox and will now throw up in rage for the fourth time since I've heard this news.
Classic. Also, I need to dwell a little more on man-Ash and his man-(unironic; dude is gay) love for Michael. UNCOMFORTABLE, and only made more so by Michael's grudgingly mortified thanks. You should develop that more, Bravo, though I know it's hard when you only have so much time to fill with Mike Isabella listing synonyms for "angry" in regard to Robin's existence.
And not to go all Adjunct Professor of Shitty Vampire Media Studies from Sparkles R Us University on you, but it's Stephenie Meyer. (The E is for "The Worst!")