I am very late and very sorry to be very late, but I love you all very very very much, from the very very bottom of my very very very very very sad heart.
Some time, at my next job interview probably, I will have an opportunity to say "Joe Mande took one for my team on not one but several occasions, and one time he even wrote me (specifically) a screenplay of a Glenn Beck book that everyone on earth immediately forgot about. I am special and give me this job."
Well I had choreographed a whole inspired dance routine by myself on the deck of an abandoned aircraft carrier, but then those bastards from Spinmedia were spying on me and stole the whole thing! I don't even know if we will be able to pull it together to win the International Blogdancing Championships tonight, for which the grand prize is exactly the amount of money they're demanding for Videogum's deed, but damn it if we don't pull something together at the last minute this whole 6 year long movie will have been for nothing!
ATTENTION: Young ladies who know they have agency and can make their own big decisions in this world and young gentlemen who will grow up to be fine having a woman for a boss, it is Videogum's last day!
I know what you're thinking, "But Superglue, this website came out when I was an infant! Lincoln Logs!" but hear me out. This dope-ass twizzzted website is the dopest assest twizzztedest website around so SHOW SOME GOD DAMN RESPECT. All your sweet 4fathers like G. Washingteezy and T. Jefferstizzle founded this crazy mixed up country with the intent of making this website the Best. Website. Ever. and now the Man, which you will probably learn about in 3 or 4 years when you're like SOOO OLLLLLD and BOOOOORRRRING, is shutting it down. So take your bourgeoning awareness of the world and picket that ho! Videogum roolz! Spinmedia droolz!!!!!!!!
I'll say it again: VIDEOGUM ROOLZ! SPINMEDIA DROOOOLLLLLLZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!
I watched the crappy olympics coverage and then the first 45 minutes of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and then I fell asleep not even realizing it was Leno's last night. Today, however, I will be crying all day because of Videogum and the resulting hole it is going to rip out of my very being.
I once wrote a really great post about fucked up looking pigeons and a bunch of hateration on the little girl from Jurassic Park, so you know ... it's a font of really great content.
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