Posts tagged "Assholes"

Kirk Cameron Compares America To Nazi Germany, Obviously

Oh, Kirk Cameron. You are OUR generation's Victoria Jackson! At first, when Kirk Cameron says something, my immediate reaction is that it must just be embarrassing for political conservatives. Why can't he be on the other guys' team?! That's what I imagine the reaction is. Do we have to keep this one or can we… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / April 3, 2012

Woman Terrorized By Spike Lee’s Tweets Is Selfish Monster

Mediaite is reporting that Spike Lee has settled out of court with the McClaine family, whose address he incorrectly posted on Twitter as the address of America's Most Hated Man #1, George Zimmerman. The harassed and humiliated couple gave a statement to the press through their attorney, who confirmed not only that Spike Lee… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / March 30, 2012

America Rejects Geraldo Rivera’s “Apology”

In a letter to Politico, Geraldo Rivera has "apologized" for his explosive remarks last week concerning Trayvon Martin's responsibility for his own death via clothing choice. And by apology, of course, he means backhanded, condescending attempt to reiterate his original point all over again. “I apologize to anyone offended by what one prominent… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / March 27, 2012

Geraldo In A Hoodie

I hope everyone had a nice weekend. Now it's time to remember what a horrible dummy Gerlado is! More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / March 26, 2012

That’s Your Boyfriend: Geraldo Rivera

It's crazy how long you and Geraldo have been together. We've all had our share of serious relationships and long-term commitment, but for those of us without a decades long relationship under our belts, the time you two have put in together is a straight up INSPIRATION. How do you make it work?! My gue… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / March 23, 2012

That’s Your Boyfriend Taping Your Girlfriend Talking About Math

In Chloe's defense, it's difficult to know how basic mathematic principals work when your husband is preparing to humiliate you on the Internet. Divorce him! Show your work! More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / March 19, 2012

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Paula Deen Is Probably Racist

Now that the Paula Deen Asshole Train has pulled out of the station, someone broke off the brake handle and this thing is Chris Pine's Unstoppable! Look out for that bend! Paula Deen is going to fly off the rails and blow up the chemical plant! AHHHHHHH! Anyway, just weeks after it was revealed that… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / March 6, 2012

Kirk Cameron Finally Breaks His LEGENDARY Silence About Gay Marriage

Piers Morgan recently interviewed Kirk Cameron for some reason. I honestly have no idea. Like, we talk about Kirk Cameron on the Internet sometimes because he'll be in a movie about how God Loves Christian Married Firefighters, or we will join him in the celebration of his birthday, but I'm not entirely clear… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / March 5, 2012

Is Everyone In The World Terrible?

There's a new trailer out today for Lena Dunham's upcoming HBO "dramedy" Girls and it looks fine. I enjoyed Dunham's feature film, Tiny Furniture, and this show clearly has the same tone, not to mention the same cast, as the movie, so if you do the math it stands to reason that I will… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / February 21, 2012

Newt Gingrich Doesn’t Care About Broke People

There was a very interesting article in the New York Times yesterday that focussed on a particularly hard-hit county in Minnesota to discuss the socio-economic paradox in which the people who rely the most on the government for assistance during economically difficult times are also the most vocally opposed to that very same government… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / February 13, 2012

A Rare Moment Of Moral Clarity From Bill O’Reilly!

Bill O'Reilly is a liar and an asshole, end of story. There's absolutely nothing he could ever really do to make up for the years of disinformation and hate-mongering that he has broadcast through his FOX News program and his children's books. The worst part about Bill O'Reilly, and I have said this before, i… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / February 9, 2012

Bill O’Reilly Is Typically Infuriating

If you want to get mad at/about Bill O'Reilly this morning, here's a clip to watch. It's really up to you. It's only if you want to get annoyed/mad at/about him and/or are for some reason not annoyed/mad enough already. More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / February 2, 2012

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Mitt Romney Isn’t Concerned About The Very Poor

Oh good grief. YEAH, MITT ROMNEY, WE KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT WORRIED ABOUT POOR PEOPLE. Eek! It's almost crazy how awesome the safety net for poor people is. And how much the Republican party never ever tries to abolish that safety net. None of them are worried about poor people because of how much… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / February 1, 2012

East Haven Mayor Rests His Case About Mexicans Eating Tacos And Something About Spaghetti

The FBI arrested four police officers in East Haven on charges of violating the rights of the Latino community, whatever that means, although it definitely sounds very serious, especially if the FBI is involved because why even would the FBI be involved? But, so, OK, it's serious. And, as when serious things like this happen,… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / January 25, 2012

Paula Deen’s Publicist Quits

At this point it is actually weird when people do the right thing. Must have found some leftover moral code at the bottom of mildewy box in the basement somewhere. More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / January 24, 2012

Duh Aficionado Magazine: Ricky Gervais Dresses Up As Hitler For No Apparent Reason

Oh good grief. COME ONNNNNNNNNNN. This is a picture of Ricky Gervais dressed as Hitler (and also dressed as Winston Churchill) that he posted to Twitter for no particularly compelling reason. THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS GUY? It's like he read a book about comedy and it said "comedy pushes boundaries" and then he… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / January 20, 2012

Paula Deen Has Type 2 Diabetes, Is An Asshole

Although the news broke last week, Paula Deen appeared on the Today Show this morning with Al Roker to announce to the world that she has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. Normally this story would make the cover of this month's Duh Aficionado Magazine (order your back issue of "Dr. Atkins Dies of… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / January 17, 2012

The ShamWow Guy Is The Schticky Guy Now

Yuck. Why is he talking like that? He sounds like he's trying out for the role of "Precocious Baby" in Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2. And why is everyone SO dirty? It seems like we might need to address, through regression therapy and some kind of step-based recovery program, the underlying problems about these people'… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / January 9, 2012

Can We Talk About Tallafornia, The Irish Jersey Shore?

When I did study abroad in college, because that's right ladies, I went to college, I knew a dude who eventually told me that the first time we met he was fully expecting me to open a beer bottle with my teeth. I'd like to think this is because of my rugged and magnetic animalism,… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / December 14, 2011
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 ... 14