Posts tagged "Death"

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Hey, Everybody! It’s Friday! Isn’t That Great!

One thing that it's important to remember going into the weekend is that we are all like these more-horrifying-than-you-expected rotting vegetables sitting in a bowl, being photographed every 40 minutes in preparation for a "rotting vegetable" timelapse. Except we are sitting at computers and the photographs are tweets? And the timelapse is I don't know… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / August 17, 2012

Some Thoughts On Marilyn Monroe

Last Sunday was the 50th anniversary of Marilyn Monroe's death, and Andrew Sullivan has collected some different people's thoughts about that. #RIP #PLEASERT… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / August 10, 2012

That’s Your Boyfriend: Chill Assassination Attempt Victim

"I don't know that I would even say that I know what I look for in a man, because if you say what it is that you think you're looking for, then you're potentially eliminating the possibility to meet all these other great people who don't fit your criteria. If I knew what I wa… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / August 8, 2012

Let’s Pole That Vault Today, Guys!

Dr. William Bell is the world record holder for pole vault in his age bracket. He is 90 years old. Uhhh. NO EXCUSES TODAY, BOYS! Today we are going to pole that vault. (Wait. No, yeah, that's right. It looked weird at first, but I'm sure that's right.) Congratulations to Dr. William Bell on hi… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / August 3, 2012

A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Vertigo, NOT Citizen Kane, Named Best Film In Sight & Sound Poll

Kelly: Hello Gabe Kelly: How's it going? Gabe: hey kelly Gabe: i'm feeling HOT HOT HOT Gabe: i'm feeling HOT HOT HOT Kelly: Uh-oh! Hot stuff over here! Gabe: inappropriate Gabe: go to HR and hand in your resignatio… More »

By: staff / August 2, 2012

HAPPY 65TH BIRTHDAY, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!

Ah'll be old! HAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAH. I'm just kidding you, buddy! Have a great day today! More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / July 30, 2012

The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is Piranhas And The Dark And Death And Abandonment And Everything

A big part of adult life is learning to overcome your fears. As you get older, the things that once terrified you become benign or, at the very least, survivable. Often times we are confronted face-to-face with something that scares us and when we live to fight another day we learn the cliche but genuinely… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / July 13, 2012

No More Twitter Eulogies, Please

Late yesterday afternoon, someone posted on Tumblr that Nora Ephron may have died based on a random tweet from a newspaper columnist about her funeral. This same Tumblr account later posted that Nora Ephron's agent or editor or representative of some kind denied this and claimed that Nora Ephron was still alive. Soon after this,… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / June 27, 2012

Life Is A Lot Like Throwing A Bag Of Garbage Into A Volcano

Life is a lot like throwing a bag of garbage into a volcano. You climb up a big mountain that's next to the lava lake with a big bag of organic garbage that is supposed to represent a human, so you can test if a human falling from that distance would penetrate the lava lake,… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / June 26, 2012

THE ROBOT UPRISING HAS MOVED TO THE SEA! THERE IS NO PLACE LEFT TO HIDE!

ATTENTION HUMANS! YOU HAVE PREVIOUSLY RECEIVED WARNINGS OF A BLOODY, SOULLESS TERRESTRIAL ROBOT UPRISING THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE BEEN IN PROGRESS IN THE PAST. STAY ON WATCH FOR THE TERRESTRIAL ROBOT UPRISING. IN THE MEANTIME DO BE AWARE THAT THE ROBOTS HAVE DEVELOPED THE SKILLS NECESSARY FOR AQUATIC TRAVEL. THIS BRINGS WITH IT… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / June 12, 2012

“Last Moment Robot” Is Here For You

Good news! No one has to be afraid that they're going to die alone in a hospital either because their friends and family couldn't be there for whatever reason, like maybe they're all dead already, or because they alienated themselves completely from anyone who ever really loved them and are full of regret! A guy… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / June 8, 2012

60,000 Dominoes Fall, Reminding Us That Everything Is Temporary

Watching all of those carefully constructed dominoes fall might make you think, "Why spend so much time and effort building anything if someday eventually all of those things will cease to exist?" And though that is a bleak outlook, and maybe you should take a break and go splash some water on your face because… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / May 14, 2012

Chet Haze FINALLY Breaks His Legendary Silence On The Subject Of Bullying

Oh brother. Really, dude? Within the infinite possibilities of the multi-verse there is an alternate planet Earth out there in which Chet Haze stopped for a second and thought, "Hey, why don't I NOT write this Tweet." That's a scientifically proven fact. (May or may not be a fact, but there is some kind of… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / May 9, 2012

Heaven Just Got A Little More Maurice Sendak

R.I.P. Maurice Sendak. You will be missed. You are in heaven now, teaching the angels how it is. More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / May 8, 2012

Look At How Scary This Ride Is!

It's hard to explain one's attraction to Internet videos of terrifying things, like bugs, and people climbing tall buildings, and Courtney Stodden LOL, and this ride we're all about to see. Do we like it because when we're watching the video we're at least sure, for a moment, that we are not IN the video? More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / May 4, 2012

Kidz Jam: “Where Will I Go When I Die”

It's hard being a kid. You have so many questions and almost all of them are so stupid, and the rest of them you can't know the answer to yet because you're only a kid. Rough. So you're often left to your own mental devices, and those devices are often completely incapable of coming to… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / April 30, 2012

Zac Efron’s Changing Face

24 years in 40 seconds morph. From YouTube: "Make sure to check out the morphing video on Vanessa Hudgens." Make sure! More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / April 17, 2012

AHHHHHHH TUPAC SHAKUR RAP HOLOGRAM @ COACHELLA!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / April 16, 2012

Good Morning From Al Pacino And Christopher Walken

Good morning! We're Al Pacino and Christopher Walken, you might know us from the movies. Over the years, we have delivered many powerful performances and created memorable characters through our craft. HOOH-AH! Remember? I know it's weird to hear Christopher Walken say that--this is Al Pacino talking now by the way--but I still think he… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / April 13, 2012

Betty White’s Twitter Account Reveals Our Communal Existential Boredom

A few days ago, the Internet exploded when Betty White joined Twitter. WOWOWOWOOW! My feelings about Betty White are well documented, of course, but even the "fans" ("isn't it amazing that she's still alive?!") have got to be disappointed by this recent development. She's only Tweeted (or has she! We're getting to it) four… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / April 12, 2012
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