Posts tagged "Nightmares"

Science Channel’s Cicada Live-Cam Is A Nightmare

Close your eyes. Imagine drifting to sleep in a big, nice bed -- like the kind of bed you'd find in a fancy hotel that is specifically known for its nice beds. You wake up well-rested and ready for your day (when you use your imagination you have to start with going to sleep and… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / May 28, 2013

Sounds Like Joe Francis Is Doing Great

The Hollywood Reporter did a new profile of Joe Francis after he was recently found guilty on three counts of false imprisonment and one count of assault (!!!) and it seems like our old friend is doin' just fine! This is literally the opening paragraph of the article: Joe Francis digs his fingers into… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / May 22, 2013

The Internet Is A Sociopath

Just this past weekend, as a matter of fact, I was talking to someone about Los Angeles and they said the city made them uncomfortable because whenever they came to visit and drove down the city's endless streets of ramshackle air conditioning repair shops and Dutch furniture refurbishers, they couldn't help but imagine all of… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / May 7, 2013

Have Springtime Allergies? Hey, Maybe You Don’t!

This video's going to be a bit upsetting so maybe it's best that we take a few minutes to think of some more comforting things before we get to it. Ummmmm, ok here we go: Spiders. Seeing a spider crawl across your bed. Being outside in a park, touching your hair, and realizing there's a… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / May 7, 2013

Bee Queen Proves That There’s Something Out There For Everyone

To you, being covered in bees while performing a dance for the Internet might not sound like a nice way to spend your sunny afternoon. The loud buzzing of swarm ringing in your ears, the tiny furry bee bodies fluttering against your skin able to sting you at any moment, the song you recorded yourself… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / April 8, 2013

Wake Up With A New Cyriak Video!

Sunlight streams through your window and wakes you up, warmly, before your alarm has a chance to go off. You feel well rested and ready for a full, productive day. What's that -- do you smell coffee brewing? Ah, you knew that coffee machine with the automatic timer was a good investment! You walk to… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / March 7, 2013

Never Leave The House

One time I took a martial arts class--WHATEVER, you went to a pimps and hoes party in college and you don't see me teasing you about THAT--and the teacher or sensei or whatever was talking about self-defense and he asked "what do you do if you go to unlock your car door and someone gra… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / February 26, 2013

It’s “Raining Spiders” (Not Really, But Still) In Brazil

This is a video of thousands of spiders hanging from telephone poles in Brazil, and it is the first thing I saw this morning, and I'm sorry but there is no way I was going to let myself suffer alone with it. What do you think the spiders are thinking? "Normal day," probably? "Man, I'm… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / February 11, 2013

“The Stanley Steamer Variations” Is A Brief Vision Of Hell

After the first few days of this you start to think, OK, hell isn't THAT bad. Sure, it's annoying and absurd, but at least there aren't any red hot pokers up my butt or whatever. The first year passes--because in hell they measure time just like we do on Earth, so that you know--and now… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / December 11, 2012

Three-Day Traffic Jam Proves Less Funny Than It Sounds

Eeeeeek! How horrible! Uhhh...At least you're not in a three-day traffic jam? Something about the traffic in LA, and abou how sometimes it rains there? Something about how we all willingly enter into what feels like a three-day traffic jam every day when we log onto the Internet? Something about...web...traffic? Buzzfeed? I don't know! Thi… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / December 4, 2012

ROACH CRAWLS ON REPORTER!!!!

Sometimes the best thing to do when confronted with a nightmare that has escaped from the dream world into reality is simply to pretend it isn't happening. "I didn't hear that creepy noise coming from the other room when I know I'm home alone," for example. "That definitely was not my ex who lives i… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / October 19, 2012

At Least You Didn’t Wake Up On A Carnival Ride

(Headphones UP and volumes DOWN for this one, everybody! Good morning!) Though you may want to, you can't always choose where you pass out from fear and where you wake up in a panic. This morning it was in your bedroom, but where will it be tomorrow? On top of the Empire State Building? O… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / October 18, 2012

Morning Nightmare Watch: 1 Nightmare Found

It happens sometimes that we awake to find that the nightmare which previously existed safely in our sleep has escaped into our waking hours and hidden itself in an online video, waiting to be found. In order to eradicate that nightmare we must post the video containing the nightmare on a blog, or, in the… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / September 19, 2012

Nope!

Just kidding! This doesn't exist. Don't even sweat it. You never saw this photo. It hasn't been burned into your brain forever, leaving you permanently broken and scarred. Not at all! What a beautiful day outside, right? And to think, everything is right where you left it, and the world is a place full of… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / September 6, 2012

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Trailer, You Guys

Hey, remember when TLC stood for The Learning Channel? We were probably learning TOO much and they had to balance us out. More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / July 23, 2012

Everything’s Going Fine

Everything's going fine. You wake up on time without the aid of an alarm. In place of your french press you find a drip coffee machine, somehow, that has been programmed to brew your coffee just as you awake. The breakfast options currently available to you actually seem desirable. You've remembered to do your laundry… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / July 17, 2012

Robert Blake On Piers Morgan

Apparently today is nightmare train wreck day and the brakes aren't working. FULL STEAM AHEAD!More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / July 12, 2012

Sometimes The Worst Thing That Could Ever Happen DOES Happen

Imagine the most terrifying thing you could ever imagine. Are you doing it? I'll wait until you think of it, I know it's early. You there yet? Are you thinking of the possibility that a stranger will push you onto the subway tracks while you're waiting for a train, for no reason at all and… More »

By: Kelly Conaboy / June 8, 2012

That’s Your Vacation: Saw Cruise

We have thrilled to the excitement of the Saw roller-coaster and fallen in love on the Twilight cruise, but now it is time to fall in love on the Saw cruise (still no word on thrilling to the excitement of the Twilight roller-coaster #TEAMLoopDeeLoop). How romantic. Do you think he's going to… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / April 18, 2012

That’s Your Dentist: Dr. Bill Dorfman

AHHHHHHHH! GO BACK TO SLEEP! GO BACK TO SLEEP! DO NOT READ THIS GO BACK TO SLEEP GOOD NIGHT SWEET DREAMS YOU ARE A HORSE PRINCESS WHO IS A PRINCESS BUT ALSO A HORSE AND EVERYTHING IS MADE OF SWEETS ENJOY IT GOODNIGHT GOODNIGHT YOU ARE ASLEEP! From TMZ: [Dr. Bill] Dorfman -- who… More »

By: Gabe Delahaye / April 5, 2012