The young woman, Paula Goodspeed, was found dead in her car outside the celebrity judge’s house last night. She appeared on the show in 2005 as one of the unwitting contestants who’s used for comedic relief in the audition episodes. Anyone who auditions for a reality TV show knows what they are getting into, but Gabe tells us why there is something particularly insidious about the audition episodes of Idol that Is unique in the reality TV field.

We had no intention of watching AI‘s season premiere, but because (1) nothing else was on, and (2) were we hoping for a drugged-out Paula Abdul, we surrendered. There were some lovely schadenfreude moments we’ll be keeping an eye out for on YouTube. In the meantime, Eric at Death By Camera has dug up 11 of the idiots who sang for us last night.

Our favorite:

Name: Jason Anderson
Age: 16
MySpace Nickname: The Tekno Kid
You: ?I?ve never been so insulted in my life.? And then you bawled your eyes out.
Why He Sucks: He sang his song while juggling Crystal Stix. I?m completely serious. What the fuck, dude. What?s even worse is that you work at a store called Crystal Stix, and you?re going to internationals for it? Is that even real?
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/theteknokid.

Stick to the sticks Tekno Kid. Singing’s not in your future. (Though a wedgie is.) So many more of last night’s Idolers’ MySpace pages at deathbycamera.com. Check ‘em out.

Finally, a legitimate reason to watch American Idol.

Big-screen Brat Paul Abdul had yet another DeVito moment during a satellite interview with Seattle’s Q13 Fox News yesterday morning. Seattle Times reports:

American Idol judge Paula Abdul looked utterly loopy, slurring words, smiling crookedly, waving with both hands, unable to stay quite in the camera’s frame during a live interview (from New York City) to talk about Seattle’s singing talent.

Of course we wouldn’t be posting if you couldn’t watch all the fun on YouTube. Plus, we get to use our William Hung tag.

In Paula’s defense, it was almost noon New York time.

American Idol premieres Tuesday at 8pm on FOX. (Video via BWE.)