Jack White Responds To Guinness Book

A couple days ago, we pointed you to an interview where Jack White complained about his attempt for “shortest concert” was not considered by The Guinness Book Of World Records. Guinness responded, giving a little context to their decision not to keep publishing trivial records like “shortest concert” and then offered, “Many of us at Guinness World Records are enormous admirers of Mr. White’s oeuvre, and we would be extremely pleased if he were to attempt any of the 40,000 records that are currently active on our database. In order to apply, all he needs to do is head to www.guinnessworldrecords.com, fill in a short application and grab his own slice of record-breaking glory.” Jack White, who is more or less known for his well-publicized idiosyncrasies, issued a press release today accepting their challenge. Behold:

The attempt may prove very exhausting and at times even dangerous, but the results could prove to be glorious and possibly even vainglorious. White and Third Man Records are certain that the extremely scientific and intricate analysis of the metaphors that occur will be examined in accordance with Guinness’ usually very thorough methods probably, or at the very least if somebody answers the phone at the pub.

Third Man Records encourages all attendees of said concerts to please not interfere or interject with any metaphors that they witness occur during the show as to not disqualify or worse yet, trivialize the metaphor in question. In addition all concert attendees are encouraged to entice as many metaphors to occur during the show that they possibly can as long as they don’t endanger themselves or Mr. White.

The image up top? It’s a metaphor, too. We’re through the looking glass here, people.

So, tour dates!
05/18 – Gulf Shores, AL @ The Hangout Music Fest
05/19 – Asheville, NC @ The Orange Peel
05/21 – New York, NY @ Roseland Ballroom
05/22 – New York, NY @ Roseland Ballroom
05/24 – Detroit, MI @ Scottish Rite Theater
05/26 – George, WA @ Sasquatch Music Festival
05/27 – Vancouver, BC @ Queen Elizabeth Theatre
05/28 – Eugene, OR @ Hult Center for the Performing Arts (Silva Concert Hall)
05/30 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Wiltern
05/31 – Los Angeles, CA @ The Wiltern
06/21 – London, UK @ O2 Academy Brixton
06/22 – London, UK @ Hammersmith Apollo
06/23 – Hackney Marshes, London, UK @ Radio 1?s Hackney Weekend
06/25 – Amsterdam, NL @ Heineken Music Hall
06/26 – Berlin, GER @ Tempodrom
06/27 – Cologne, GER @ E-Werk
06/29 -Werchter, Belgium @ Rock Werchter
07/01 – Belfort, France @ Les Eurockeennes
07/02 – Paris, FR @ L’Olympia
07/03 – Paris, FR @ L’Olympia
07/05 – Hamburg, GER @ Docks
07/20 – Dover, Delaware @ Firefly Music Festival
07/21 – Dover, Delaware @ Firefly Music Festival
07/22 – Dover, Delaware @ Firefly Music Festival
07/27 – Niigata, Japan @ Fuji Rock Festival
07/28 – Niigata, Japan @ Fuji Rock Festival
07/29 – Niigata, Japan @ Fuji Rock Festival
08/03 – Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza
08/04 – Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza
08/05 – Chicago, IL @ Lollapalooza

Tags: Jack White