Details: The Kevin Federline Interview

Last month Details landed an interview with Mr. Britney Spears himself, Kevin Federline. About 15 minutes in, Britney “who had finished a workout a bit early” decided to join in. The issue is on newsstands now. What follows are the bites most worthy of your derision.

Kevin: A bunch of us [LFO background dancers] went out one time in a big group. That was when she was starting to get big. She was, like, what, 18? … Shit, a few years down the road, and a couple tours later, I wound up meeting her ass again, and here we are.
Details: You didn’t find her a little hot?
Kevin: No, I wasn’t even really in that mind frame. I just got out of a long relationship, and I felt free for the first time. I was making money — legally. I was doing my part, you know, supporting my ass.

Kevin: I have a baby son named Kaleb. [Believe it or not, his full name is Kaleb Michael Jackson Federline.] He’s about 6 months old now. And he’s getting fat, too. Kori was a fat baby too. Man she was just big. She looked like she was gonna be a damn football player.

Britney: Nothing gets to him … Not my man. And that’s why I married him, because he’s not a shallow motherfucker Hollywood actor-guy.
Kevin: Yeah, baby!
Britney: I’ve met grown men in this business that are a lot older than Kevin and they think I’m this dumb blonde, because I’m quote-Britney Spears-unquote. Men in Hollywood are just — oh, my God, it’s horrible. Babe, am I talking too much?
Kevin: Yeah, go away. [He laughs and hugs her.]
Britney: Is it okay if I stay? I miss you when I’m not with you.
Kevin: I don’t care.
Details: I certainly don’t mind. Unless, of course, you have some reason not to trust the press.
Britney: Ha, ha. I need to create my own magazine. People are just way too obsessed with celebrity. Look at Us Weekly. I think the same guy who does Rolling Stone does Us Weekly. He’s this big old fat man.

Details: People think Kevin is with you for your money.
Kevin: Oh, yeah.
Britney: Well, time will tell, motherchuckers…
Kevin: What you hear about in all those bullshit-ass magazines is bullshit.

Britney: When I have kids — I think Celine Dion, the way she does it, with her show in Vegas, is the way to go. Everybody comes to her. When I have kids, I’m so there. That’s what I’m doing: “Come to me, motherfuckers.”

Vegas, Britney? But that would be … cheesy. Also in the interview Kevin reveals plans for a fashion label called Pair A Dice. If you care about that bullshit, pick up the bullshit-ass magazine, motherchuckers!