Ariel Pink Wants To Marry Taylor Swift, Is In Love With Ariana Grande

Ariel Pink’s pom pom is out today — it’s great, and you can stream it here. And as we all know, Pink’s been taking every opportunity in the press cycle to talk a lot of shit about, well, pretty much everything. So it’s almost surprising when he has generally nice and reasonable things to say, as he mostly does in a new Vogue interview in which he’s asked to give his opinion on the top five pop songs of the week (The Week In Pop with Ariel Pink, if you will). Apparently Pink is totally on board the Taylor Swift bandwagon, praising Swift’s “Shake It Off,” giving her credit for a general creative breakthrough, and managing to credibly compare her to both Scarlett Johansson and Jonathan Richman in the span of two sentences. Also, he thinks that she’s “beautiful, I want to marry her, if she would take me out on a date, I wouldn’t be upset.” Similarly, he harbors only goodwill towards Jessie J, Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj’s “Bang Bang”:

It seems like a signature beat, something like the Harlem Shake, that’s good, very urban, very up-to-date. I’m in love with Ariana Grande — she’s got a very curious personality, I hear she loves Freddy Krueger and I love Freddy Krueger, which makes me feel like we’d be perfect for each other. And who can deny Nicki Minaj? She’s so seminal, and I know that she’s a big influence on my friend Azealia Banks and just about everybody — she’s like Lil’ Kim in a way. Most rappers don’t even rap anymore, they’re all doing what Gwen Stefani innovated, everybody is kind of singing — Rihanna, Nicki Minaj. Which is good because it seems to keep the pop in there — that’s why that Pitbull works so well. She does things on her own terms, and that’s really important, she reminds me a little bit of a Missy Elliot with regards to her own body image, she doesn’t mind shaking her junk.

He also discusses Meghan Trainor (he thinks she’s the Toys “R” Us version of Amy Winehouse), Maroon 5, and the virtues of Swedish pop such as Tove Lo. Read the full interview here.