Man Retires From Public Life, Is Now Just A Man

Since taking the majority of the content and visuals of his short film “Howard Cantour” from cartoonist Daniel Clowes’s Justin M. Damiano, passing them off as his own, and being found out the moment the film was released on-line, Shia LaBeouf (former actor) has been not doing so well. Sources say that his brain seems bad and his friends and family or, at the very least, those whose livelihoods depend on his wellness, should maybe check on him. The drama of former actor and Twitter user Shia LaBeouf came to a head today when LaBeouf made the binding and permanent announcement that he has retired from all public life, calling his followers to #stopcreating. While it is unfortunate in some cases that pronouncements of retirement made on Twitter are now enforced by law, we must trust that it is for the best, and understand that LaBeouf must adhere to the rule. Shia LaBeouf, former actor, is now just a man. What will the man do now? Well, we don’t know, and we won’t know. That is the beauty of being merely a man. Maybe he will go grocery shopping? Maybe he will take a shower. Maybe he will mow the lawn. It will be a beautiful life, in its way, but certainly one of which we will have no knowledge. (Via Twitter.)