This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

It’s Friday and you know what that means: TRAILERS! Also: END OF THE WEEK! But right now: TRAILERS! Are you guys ready to watch some? There are only four, and, spoiler alert, none of them are particularly exciting, so LET’S GET TO IT! Get your lunch and tell your boss to shove it for a couple of minutes because you’re going on break! #TRAILERSBREAK

Don Peyote

Long time, no see, Dan Fogler, whom we know from such (trailers for) films as Fanboys and Take Me Home Tonight! Hello, Wallace Shawn! Weird to see you, Anne Hathaway! I don’t really know what to say about this movie because from the trailer it is impossible to understand what this movie is, or what happens in it, or if any of the celebs in the trailer are actually in it or just have cameos. So. The Facebook page has a bit more to say about it, sort of:

Warren is transformed into the shaman/prophet Don Peyote and sheds light on alternative lifestyles that work but have been buried by the decision makers to the detriment of our civilization. The movie takes a hard look at the current plight of humanity and begs of us all to take a second look at our own contribution. it makes us question which is better: maintaining the status quo or maintaining harmony with humankind, nature, the earth, and the stars.

Which sounds like nothing anywhere near anything that I would ever want to watch. But who knows!

The Unknown Known

Yes. Although it doesn’t seem like Donald Rumsfeld opened up in a way that would allow this film to reach the heights of Fog of War, this still looks like it will be very compelling. Yes.

The Railway Man

This looks like it could either be very interesting or potentially interesting and then ruined by saccharine, relationship-focused ending. It’s hard to tell what the trailer is obscuring. WHY ARE THE TRAILERS SO DIFFICULT TODAY? WHAT DID I EVER DO 2 TRAILERS?

Endless Love

The original Endless Love did not do well, so I am not sure why this intensely boring-looking update exists. Also why did they hire a robot to play the boy? Lots of questions!