This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

There are so many trailers to watch today. Man oh man. I would love to be able to say that there are so many that there is “something for everyone,” but there isn’t really. They all look pretty much medium-good to bad. Are you someone who likes movies that are either medium-good or bad? If so, there is something for you! A lot of somethings! So. Now that we’re all warmed up, let’s watch these bad boys!

The Other Woman

For a brief period of time, I lived with a woman who was working as Cameron Diaz’s stand-in on this movie. Can you imagine being a stand-in? What a weird life. “I stand here before someone else does.” Not a bad life, for sure, in this economy?!, but certainly a weird one. “I stand.” Anyway, she was a very nice lady and my reddit AMA about it is going live at 2PM! This movie looks like I will 100% watch it on Netflix Instant when I am alone.

Grand Piano

“Congratulations. The whole place is PACKED.” Hahahahah. Why would you ever say that to him?! He’s nervous! This looks great, kind of — great in a ridiculous way that could easily translate, when the movie is 1.5 hours long rather than two minutes, to boring — but the trailer is almost enough for me. WHAT A TWIST! I hope the voice on the end turns out to be his mom because she just wanted him to do a good job!

Welcome To Yesterday

Why are these teens talking about time travel when they should be talking about THE SECRET TO PERFECT SKIN?

Rob the Mob

“I wanna rob.” – Michael Pitt. This movie trailer surprised me with how decent I felt about the movie after it was finished. Looks like it could be all right! Nina Arianda is very charming!

22 Jump Street

I did not see 21 Jump Street, and I don’t like action comedies, and Jonah Hill’s Jonah Hill humor is so Jonah Hill-y at this point that I almost cannot stand it, buuuuuuut this looks all right! (“This looks all right.”) (I hope none of these movies review my trailer reviews LOL.) I enjoyed the trailer. I even enjoyed the scene with two Jonah Hills (one female). I don’t know. Maybe my brain is dead from too many trailers?

Art of the Steal

Before watching this, I sincerely thought that this might be a dramatic version of the story told in the documentary Art of the Steal about the Barnes Foundation and the city of Philadelphia breaking Barns’s will and I thought, “Hmmmm…that’s an interesting choice.” But it’s not that at all! It’s just some garbage movie! (“He’s my apprentice.” “So you’re a magician now?” makes me so mad.) (Also, just so I’m clear, the story told in the documentary Art of the Steal should not be a movie.) (Unless Jesse Eisenberg is in it.) (Then, by all means.)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! I saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes somewhat recently and it was so sad and I can’t wait for the apes to just straight up murder all of these humans. Hahaha. WE’VE HAD OUR CHANCE AND WE WERE SO MEAN TO THE APES! IT’S THE APE’S TIME NOW! GET OVER IT!