That’s Your Boyfriend: Ramen Noodles Beard Bowl

“You have no idea how hard it is to find a decent guy to date. Seriously. For example, the last guy I dated slept on the floor of his bedroom. Not because he couldn’t afford a bed, mind you — because he ‘wanted to be closer to the earth.’ What?! Dude, you live in an apartment building! Before that, the guy I dated maintained MULTIPLE parody Twitter accounts. Very few of them were still relevant. It’s fucking tough out there, man. So please — I know that my boyfriend has fashioned his beard into a disgusting bowl shape from which he, in this video, eats ramen noodles, and I know he doesn’t seem like the best guy, but, I promise, he’s a fine guy. We listen to the same kind of music, more or less. He has a bed. He buys me dinner sometimes. He’s made me laugh. I know he’s not the greatest and I’m not going to, like, marry him or whatever — I mean, probably I won’t, no one really knows what the future holds — but it’s nice to have someone to hang out with, you know? He’s fine. He’s definitely fine. You just have to trust me on this one. It’s seriously really hard to find someone.” – You