Who Should Play J.D. Salinger In The J.D. Salinger Biopic?

I have not yet seen Shane Salerno’s J.D. Salinger documentary Salinger. (My use of “yet” is mostly a lie, I don’t think I will ever see it.) (From what I have heard it is not great, also “HE WOULD HATE THIS” is written on almost every advertisement for it in the subway, and citizen marketing is the marketing that I trust.) (Plus as a teen I didn’t buy Kurt Cobain’s Journals because I knew he would be upset if he found out they had been published, and I am NOT going 2 turn my back on private dead dudes now.) Have you seen it? What do you think? Well, be quiet for a sec, it doesn’t matter, because we have bigger news to discuss: Salerno and The Weinstein Company are working on a Salinger biopic, and WHO SHOULD PLAY J.D. SALINGER IN IT?! From EW:

The Weinstein Company, which distributed Salinger and today announced plans to insert new footage into the doc when it expands Sept. 20, is collaborating with Salerno on a separate narrative film that focuses on Salinger’s life between World War II and the 1951 release of The Catcher in the Rye, which made Salinger a literary sensation. …

Salerno, who wrote Armageddon and is currently scripting one of the Avatar sequels, had always envisioned a narrative feature. In fact, he initially optioned the film rights to Paul Alexander’s 1999 biography Salinger with plans to make a Salinger biopic with Daniel Day-Lewis. “I thought Daniel Day-Lewis not only perfectly encapsulated Salinger, but when Daniel Day-Lewis is made up for events he can look strikingly like Salinger at certain angles,” Salerno recently told The Associated Press.

Daniel Day-Lewis is, at this point, probably too old to play the 23 – 32-year-old Salinger. Sooo who else? Benedict Cumberbatch? Don’t even say it, don’t you dare say Benedict Cumberbatch. He can’t play everything. Who else, other than him? Harry Potter? Ryan Lochte is mostly free these days, he could make a great Salinger. There already a rumor that it’s going to be Ryan Gosling, and smaller rumors that it could be either James Franco or Jake Gyllenhaal, so those bases are covered. Sooo. JESSE EISENBERG?! One of the kids from DIIV?! Tell meeeee, tell me who is should beeee! #phonies  #phonies  #phonies  #phonies  #factsonly