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Today We Are All This Pee Wee Quarterback

Why don’t all football players just do this? If I were a football coach, like if I coached the Miami Dolphins or something, I would show this to my team and say, “Hey, how about a little more of this, and a little less of this?” And the second “this” would be a lewd gesture. The football players would probably say something like, “Hey, that’s– listen, we’re trying to do that, kind of, it’s just–” I would say, “It’s just what?” And they’d say, “It’s just” and I’d cut them off and say, “It’s just that you like to lose and fall on your little butts because then your mommies and daddies buy you ice cream after the game and feel sorry for you?” And they’d be like, “What are you talking about?!” And I’d say, “YEAH, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA.” Hahaha. Ugh, I’d have the best team. What a dream. Oh, but, today we are all this pee wee quarterback. Get on the field and make everyone else fall down! (Via TastefullyOffensive.)