How To Instantly Jump Farther

1. Throw a shiny penny into a wishing well, holding in your mind the wish that you’d like to be able to jump farther.
2. Push nagging thoughts — “Why do I need to know how to jump farther?” “It seems like if I know how to jump farther I’m just going to try to do it and then injure myself.” “I don’t remember the last time I jumped, but I’m almost positive that it was only for fun. Like showing a kid how far I could jump, maybe. Something like that. So, I don’t know, I don’t really need to improve it.” — out of your mind. You can jump farther, and you will.
3. Sleep peacefully and wait for further instructions to be revealed to you in a dream.
4. Follow the instructions — find the road you are supposed to find, roll down the hill, choose your rock, present it to the lady.
5. If you’ve chosen the correct rock, the lady will grant you one wish from one of her genies. DO NOT WISH TO BE ABLE TO JUMP FARTHER. Big mistake! Instead, wish for everyone in your life to know happiness, or that people who need money get money, or something nice.
6. If the genie thinks you are nice enough, you should instantly be able to jump farther.

Or you can just push harder with your hands and make your legs straight, or whatever? I don’t know. Either way! #jumping (Via Lifehacker.)