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John McCain Defends His Decision To Play Poker On His iPhone During Yesterday’s Syria Hearing

“Sometimes when I’m at a hearing in front of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee attempting to make the case to proceed with military action in Syria, a decision of which I am one of the most outspoken voices, I get a leeeeeeetle bit bored! Haha, that’s my Triumph the Insult Comic Dog impression. Ahahah. Good, yeah? It’s like, I already made my decision: I want the United States to launch missile strikes against Syria. Am I supposed to sit here for over three hours and act like I want to listen to other people talk about it, or at least pretend to show that I respect the gravity of the decision that I’m fighting for? Why? FOR OVER THREE HOURS? Do you realize how long that is? It’s about as long as The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, if that helps you imagine it. Fucking nightmare. Just start the war already! DON’T MAKE ME LOSE ANY MORE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS ON IPHONE POKER I MEAN FAKE DOLLARS!” -Your boyfriend? He tweeted about it, too, in case his defense wasn’t made clear enough:

LOL. It’s only war, dudes. Chill out! In the words of Gabe Delahaye (R.I.P.): Rest your case! (Via Mediaite.)