Celebrity Cronut Diaries: The Emma Roberts Saga

Cronuts: celebrities can’t get ‘em, celebrities can’t live without ‘em. Ever since cronuts became a thing about two months ago, celebrities have been bending over backwards to get a bit of their taste and mouthfeel. Then celebrities have been falling onto their backs, and then waiting for a moment under the assumption that someone will come and pick them up, and then closing their eyes and opening their mouth because maybe whoever is going to be delivering the cronut to their mouth wants it to be a surprise? And then shouting for water once their mouth becomes dry and their jaw begins to ache, and then falling into a cronut-less sleep. Poor celebrities. Will they ever get their cronuts?! From the Daily Mail:

On Thursday, the actress was rather embarrassingly turned away from a New York bakery after attempting to skip the queue. Emma rocked up at the Dominique Ansel Bakery, home to the Cronut – a combination of a croissant and donut which is currently all the rage.

Upon seeing a queue of hungry customers winding around the block, the 22-year-old and her publicist allegedly attempted to skip to the front, but were sent to the back of the line by the doorman.

Emma apparently then slunk back to the end of the queue but gave up on waiting after several minutes.

Oh, Emma Roberts. You may have lived an embarrassing, cronut-less life, but at the very least you didn’t force yourself to stand in line for hours. And that is, in itself, a win. Rest in peace. I hope they serve cronuts in Heaven. (Now I am also dead.)

UPDATE: Last night Emma Roberts, in ghost form, appeared on Late Night and was given a cronut by Jimmy Fallon. She attempted to carry it back to Heaven on her wings, but the weight of the cronut sunk her back onto the Earth. She is once again alive and well.