This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

When I was a kid I used to get so mad at my parents if they took me to a movie and we got there just a little bit late and the trailers had already started. Because that’s pretty much all you have to worry about as a kid. That’s as hard as it gets. Your parents are straight up CRIMINALS because you didn’t get EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED. Trailers are good, though. I was right about that. Trailers!

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

I haven’t seen the first Hunger Games, even though you can watch it streaming on Netflix right now, which is basically like getting paid to watch a movie it is so easy. But it looks wack to me! And I heard that it is kind of wack! For whatever reason, though, this second movie looks better. Maybe I will see this second movie when it is streaming on Netflix. That’s sort of where I’m at with the whole thing, as a full grown adult man who has somehow read the entire trilogy of children’s books? DON’T HOLD YOUR BREATH, HOLLYWOOD, NO ONE KNOWS WHAT WILL HAPPEN WITH ME AND THIS MOVIE NEXT.

Cold Comes the Night

Hey! Uh, my friend directed this! #BRAG His name is Tze Chun and he is a nice guy. So that is all I am going to say about this, it is called “recusing one’s self” and it is the law. But yeah, movies. I’ll see YOU, at the movies!

A Single Shot

This movie continues to look very very good, and I will continue to be a huge Sam Rockwell fan.

47 Ronin

Uhhhhhhhhhh guys?! Hahahahahha. GUYS?! What on Earth. It’s like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon meets The Last Samourai meets 10,000 BC meets The Matrix meets The Last Airbender meets the CW Network. Obviously, this is going to be the best.

The Dirties

Kevin Smith stinks and the idea of a comedy about a school shooting, one of the most horrific and tragic things in a world FULL of horrific and tragic things is a real turn-off. And yet, this trailer doesn’t look bad. I’m a fan of “REAL” teens interacting with each other (the way anthropologists are fans of “monkeys” interacting with each other) and, you know, Four Lions, which I’m not saying this is going to be even 1/10000000th as good as Four Lions, but Four Lions was a completely brilliant and hilarious comedy about terrorism so maybe it’s possible. Then again, maybe we should just watch Elephant again. Or maybe we should watch any other movie that isn’t about children murdering each other.