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I Dream Of A Never-Ending Procession Of Skateboarders

“It happens every night. I turn on my window unit air conditioner, put on my face mask, climb into bed, think of everything that I need to get done, replay some conversations that went poorly, worry about how much of my life I’ve already wasted, listen carefully to all of the noises that could be murderers or ghosts, and gently drift off to sleep — only to dream of a never-ending procession of skateboarders. One after another, lines of them, taking up the whole street in both directions. What does it mean, doc? Does it mean I am in love with skateboarders? Does it mean I’m meant to be a skateboarder?! Sure, I excelled in Tony Hawk Pro Skater for Nintendo 64, but that was years ago. I’m not sure I’d still be able to remember all the combos. And what if it’s different when you actually try to do it in real life? Ah, I just don’t know, doc! All I know is that I go to bed every night and the skateboarders never stop until the alarm clock pries my eyes open in the AM. Tell me, doc, what’s the deal here? The skateboarders! I just can’t deal with all the skateboarders anymore! Ya gotta help me!”

“Now that I’ve explained it to you, though, it is kind of peaceful. Ah, nevermind, I’ll stick with it.” Fin. (Via ViralViral.)